Get to Know My Mom: Finding Time to Workout as a Mom, Fostering Body Confidence in Her Daughters, and Raising Resilient Kids
Listen on:
Apple | Spotify
Time to pivot from my mom’s story to her advice in various areas of life and motherhood after over 30 years of motherhood and 35 years of marriage.
Get ready for all the goods as my mom shares how she not only stayed consistent with working out, but how she AND my dad prioritized and made time for it every week, we talk about fostering a healthy body image and strong confidence while raising daughters, she shares her advice on raising resilient, purpose-driven children, how to parent on the same front with your husband, and you get a real life behind the scenes of who I am as well, from the woman who's known me since 1991.
Are you ready to get consistent so you can lose weight and actually feel confident as a mom?
Book your weight loss kickstart call and let's get you losing weight the right way!
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Ep 61
[00:00:00] Hey, mama friend. Welcome back for part two. I'm so excited because we'd like pivot the conversation big time and you are going to get so encouraged and poured into and spurred on by what my mom has to share in this part two. So in this part, two, what you can expect to hear about is how she was consistent in her workouts as a young mom of a little kid.
With a traveling husband. I mean, my dad was gone a lot when I grew up and for his work and she was still consistent and they found a way to balance that between the two of them and both be active. So how do they make that happen? You're going to hear about it. She also talks about body image and raising daughters.
We get into a conversation about. And why my mindset is in the place it is now. Um, and what she did when I was a kid that really helped with that. So especially those of you with daughters, I mean, all of us as moms, but especially those of you with daughters, she's got some great wisdom for you in that she gives some advice to moms and raising resilient and purpose-driven children.
Uh, you get a little bit of an. [00:01:00] Scoop of really who I am and, uh, some of my faults and weaknesses and strengths from her perspective as a mom. And then she also talks about parenting on the same front, after 35 years of marriage. Um, she's got some real good advice on parenting in general, especially alongside your husbands.
So let's get ready to dive into this part two with my mom again. You know, just grab onto what, what you really need to hear from this conversation, because there's something in it for you. And I'm so excited to see what it is that impacts yourself. Let's go, listen.
Hey, mama. Welcome to the tough love mom podcast. I know you're here because you're ready to get consistent and finally lose that weight. And you're not afraid of a little tough love, you know, what to do to lose weight, but following through on those things feels and possible. You wish you could just feel like your strong, confident self again, and want to [00:02:00] be a good example for your little ones, but you get.
Bye mom guilt and the unpredictability of motherhood. It's frustrating. Taking a new journey. Postpartum is hard, but it's not impossible. Okay. I'm Liz. And I've been where you are. I gained a lot of weight in my pregnancies, 90 pounds, and then 60 pounds. I needed to lose that weight to take control of my health.
And honestly just wanted to feel like myself again, with the sustainable approach to weight loss. Simple consistency in working on my mindset. I lost it all in just over a year, both times. And I'm here to help you do the same. I believe that we have an ingrained ability to figure out what we need to do, make it happen and do it in a way that honors the world.
If you're ready to stop falling off the wagon, create solid routine and healthy habits and finally feel your best inside and out all while enjoying Dino nuggets on your salad, you are in the right place. We're about to transform your journey map. Get pumped up. It is tough. Love time.[00:03:00]
So when it comes to parenting, how would you describe your style of parenting? Because I think it's very unique. I think I've been greatly blessed by it, but how would you describe your approach to parenting? I guess approach is probably about. It's a good question because I can be too lenient sometimes and I can be too strict sometimes it's situational.
Ah, that's tough. That's a hard question. So I'll mix of lenient and it's a hard-nosed rather than strict. That's how I felt growing up was a little and it never, it's really interesting. So like learning about. Your childhood was and knowing grandpa and grandma and you you're very tough. Love is a good word to describe it.
But if from the outside you would never see that you would never, like, I never [00:04:00] noticed that it was just almost this like underlying current that was consistent. And I don't even know the word for it, but you wouldn't like be able to pinpoint that just by looking at you. It was almost just this consistent, like a consistency that you have.
I don't know. I think maybe it's a Midwest thing. I could try it. I would try my hardest not to raise my voice. Yeah. Um, and I will tell you, one thing I've noticed in all of my children is they hate to, um, disappoint. I don't want to say authority, but like they would hate to disappoint their teachers. They would hate to disappoint their coach.
They would, they would not like to disappoint even their. So there's something about all three of them. I don't know if we instilled it or they've just seen it in other people growing up as well, but they, they try their hardest to do the best they [00:05:00] can for other people. Yeah. It's a lot like what you said, what you define success as in your, in your role right now in work.
You're right. Yeah. It's like a reliability, like you're depending on me and I don't want to let you down. Like we're sitting here at nine 30 recording this so I can make sure I get a done with you in person. And I don't want to do it over zoom with you, but I also want to make sure that they get to hear from you.
So, because I wanted to put my grandson to bed, that's why. And they talked for ever to now we had a long discussion where we difficult like that at all in childhood. Like how did you get through those hard days early motherhood? I mean, you started staying home after. I was about five. How was, how did you get through those hard days of momming?
So your dad and I used to take turns getting up every morning to work out. Yes, because we belong to a sports center. I remember that. And we would actually have battles about who could go, what. Because of what was happening at the sports center. So we were like classes. [00:06:00] So we would alternate, you know, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Tuesday, Thursday, and then, you know, we'd switch off the next week.
So sometimes you would get two and sometimes you would get three days. Right. But I would also try to like, when I would drop Liz off at elementary school, I would put our other daughter on it and the jogger and try to jog with her. Yeah. You ran a lot. How did you stay consistent? How are you consistent?
So you would work out like four to five days a week. Usually my goal was four days a week. Sometimes it was three. How did you decide that it was just doable? It was just doable. It's almost a blessing to be, uh, my mom back in the nineties when there wasn't social media and all these people doing these things that you're like, oh, I'm comparing myself now to what I see this person doing, but I can't do that.
Cause circumstances like. Dad traveling like literally solo parenting for days at a time with more than one kid. So do you think that helped [00:07:00] not having those or were there other people that you did compare yourself to when it came to like what you were capable of doing on your health and fitness front or just in motherhood in general?
Thank you. Always compare yourself to somebody else. I don't think you can help, but whether they're social media or not, I would go to the sports. Oh, yeah. You'd see people. I would see women in much better shape than I was. I would see women that got to spend maybe almost their whole day there. And sometimes it would make me get upset, but then other times I thought, wow, they must not have much more in their life if they can spend.
Five hours a day at the gym. I can't even imagine I can't either, but you know, it doesn't Dawn on you until a little bit later. Cause you just get frustrated with the point thinking, gosh, I'm just working my tail off to get here for a half an hour and hopefully get a shower in before I get home. Yeah. Is that all you'd get in the morning, usually 30 minutes at the gym.
So you are doable. That is so like that's, that's doable [00:08:00] three, maybe four days a week. If you're lucky, switching off with your husband, did that take communication? When did you guys get that ironed out balance? Well, do you ever get that ironed out? No, no. I'm preaching to me. No, I'm just thinking you all, you don't, you don't get that ironed out because every week with children and family changes and as your kids get older, it changes.
Um, and I don't know if Liz mentioned any of this, but we had a daughter a second born with special needs. So I think part of the reason my children are much more accepting and much more resilient is I had to drag Liz and our youngest to Paige Easter seals from downtown Chicago, all over. But they saw kids from all walks of life.
They saw kids without arms and legs. They saw kids who had to be in a wheelchair. They saw kids who could only use one [00:09:00] hand. They saw all kinds of disabilities, speech disabilities, everything. Yeah. So to them, that was kind of not abnormal, I guess. And I don't know if that's why you went into special ed.
Definitely. Definitely. I was part of it, but Liz was also able to treat those kids with respect because of what she'd seen. They're no different from any other child. Yeah. And I think that was a huge help with her schooling choice. But on the other hand, I think it was a huge help for all three of them to realize, you know, maybe you are pretty lucky with how we are.
And our middle daughter Ana was fortunate. I mean, she, yeah, she worked her tail off, but she also. Um, was able to overcome a lot of those physical disabilities. So many, you also brought up how that you think it instilled some resilience. Do you think that stemmed from us having to figure things out on our own a lot?
Not like you neglected us. It was just a, you had to figure out how to [00:10:00] balance needs of like various different needs at that were at various different levels. There's a decent age gaps between all of us. Like you didn't have them close together, which I think it's a very different experience because I had mine super close.
So I'm like, oh, what am I doing? And you're like, I don't know. There was a five and a half years between the fingers, but, um, you said resilience. And I think a lot of that stem too from us having to learn how to be an and not independent, but like, uh, figure it out type of approach and not in a tough way.
Just. Figure it out, you know, like you're capable. And that's what I tell, I tell Royce and Cal out a lot, like, okay, you can't figure it out. Try kind of like grandma would tell you if you don't, if you're scared or if you don't know, if you can do it, if you're worried about failing, just try and see if it works out.
So I think you've instilled that, you know, you probably got instilled with that and thus pass it on. Big time. You were talking about how back to like the fitness thing, [00:11:00] Holly, my best friend messaged childhood best friend. Like we think it's been over 20 years now, messaged me saying she always remembered sleep overs.
You already have gotten, gotten up, worked out, cooked us breakfast. And she remembers thinking she thinks back on that a lot and just goes, wow. If she can do that, like I can get up and get this done. She like relies on that a lot. Um, So you talked a little bit about how you prioritize workouts. When we were young, I want to shift that conversation a little bit to body image because my generation grew up in a time and I don't think it was our parents' fault.
I think it was more so like social media, the magazines, the way things were edited that started to change a lot and skew how we saw our own bodies, but, and I've totally struggled with body image for various reasons. But I think you did a lot that helped me not struggle as much as other [00:12:00] people might have.
So was there anything specific that you feel like you did as a mom that helped with body image helped or confidence in any capacity? Did you struggle with it at all after becoming a mom? Well, that's a really good question. I don't think I put much thought into that when I was raising all of you. It wasn't even a conversation.
Really? No, it wasn't even conversation, but I can see what you mean because the school or the store of choice when you were growing up was Abercrombie and Fitch. Remember that. So everybody had to have that and I'm sorry, those are tiny clothes, very tiny clothes. And you know, it didn't, it didn't Dawn on me at the time, but I thought, okay, well, you know, we'll work towards that.
If. Liz feels comfortable wearing we'll we'll work towards that. We'll figure it out. Work towards like wearing that clothes. Not the size. No, not the size. Oh gosh, no, I wanted to clarify my gosh. That'd be terrible. Yes, I did. I made them sweat. I wrapped them, you know, in [00:13:00] saran wrap at night. No, I'm joking.
I'm just joking. She's going to edit that. She gets my sarcasm, but no, what I meant was financially working towards that. Cause those jeans were darn expensive. I'm sure if I still are. So that's what I meant, but, um, no, I never really thought about it. Um, so my body image, I guess I don't weigh myself ever.
I'm not a fan of it. I don't see the point. I think if you're comfortable and your clothes fit, you will. Then I don't understand the point of weighing yourself. Yeah. And that's my goal is to stay comfortable in my clothes. Yeah. And to feel comfortable with how I present myself and how I look. I think part of feeling comfortable in all of that ties to how you're showing up for your.
On the health front. Oh, role. It could be, yes. I also think a little bit of everything is fine. Yeah. You're big. I was remember hearing everything in moderation growing up, dad would say it kind of [00:14:00] jokingly, but you were serious. I am serious. I don't think you have to give up chocolate to be healthy. I don't think you have to give up a glass of wine to be healthy.
And not that everybody drinks, but I. You can do everything in moderation. You're not going to go out and have a big Mac every day. Yeah. I mean, that's not the that's not healthy. She heard it from her. Yes. I'm sorry. You heard it from me, not Liz. Um, but I will tell you self what I will tell you what I do every time I have a closing because one of my guilty pleasures is a sausage, egg, and cheese McMuffin from McDonald's.
I'm not going to eat one of those every day, but whenever I have a closing, that is my treat. I go through the drive-through and I get one of those. I love it. That's funny. That's funny something I remember too. And this might sound weird. It's not weird at all. At least it wasn't weird to me growing up and it never felt weird, but if I like walked into, [00:15:00] cause we shared, we lived in an old, old home growing up.
So we had one bathroom that all five of us. And if you were like getting ready or whatever. And I was like, get killed when I was a kid like 5, 6, 7. If I walked in and you were getting ready and you were just in like a bra and underwear or whatever, you didn't like hide yourself at all. Like you never, I never got that.
I never got the feeling that we should like hide our bodies or be ashamed of how they feel because of how you just carried yourself in general. So, and even if there were, I mean, pregnancy and postpartum, your weight fluctuate so much, but I never ever saw you. Pick yourself apart or feel, or like come off as ashamed of how you looked or disappointed.
The only time I remember you making a comment about how it affected how pregnancy effected or your body was when we did that 5k together. When I was really young. Oh my gosh. Said at the end you peed your pants near the finish line. I did that slightly terrified me about having kids, but. Yes, that is [00:16:00] true.
That is true. That's the only thing I loved being pregnant that I absolutely enjoyed the whole process. Even though we were huge babies, they were very large babies and this is the largest one speaking right now. Right next to me, 10 pounds, two ounces. He was a big girl. First one too. I knew no different.
I thought this must be the norm. So it did change your body a lot. Oh yeah, it did change my body a lot, but, um, but I loved it. Um, loved being. And I never saw my mom was the same way though. Oh yeah. Cause we grew up in an old home as well. We had one full bathroom upstairs. There were four of us and my mom and dad.
So I never thought anything different of it because my mom never thought anything different in her body changes to me. No, it's not a big deal. Um, I can remember senior grader getting ready and I don't know if this is too personal, but my mom has had breast cancer. So she's. Um, she had a mastectomy, she had a mastectomy and she has an insert.
And I [00:17:00] remember walking in and, you know, watching her, put the insert in thinking no big deal. Um, it just, I think the less attention you give, something like that, it's not a big deal. Like Liz mentioned to have a burn. I have some pretty visible marks on my legs, have a lot of skin grafts and scarring, but I don't let it stop me from going to the beach or.
Putting a swimsuit on, I mean, if people have a question they're going to ask me, well, I think part of that was my sister Ana and her disability and us, like, we gave it attention because she, when she would need help with something we helped, but it wasn't never this definition of who she was or this thing to be wrapped up about.
Yeah. You don't put limits on somebody. Yeah. You just don't do that. Cause you never know what they can achieve. Is there anything you saw grandma do, um, that you intentionally carried into motherhood or that you saw her doing? You were like, I want to [00:18:00] mirror that when I become a mom. Oh, that's a good question.
Um, my mom is a very loving kind person. And I remember that here's this food don't leave hungry. That's right. Nurture care, care. Don't stop doing all the things
I hit the nail on the head. I think she might have, um, my mom would get so much joy out of being with her children and grandchildren. She would always cook with us. She was. You know, we'd all do chores together. I mean, not going to kid you, we all had chores. I had to dust and she had, I don't know how many gazillion antiques drove me nuts, but you had to do it before you left the house.
So there were rules in place, but at the same time, she would bend over backwards to get us to our piano lesson, to [00:19:00] our sports pack practice, to make sure we had the books we needed. She would take. All of us on a school shopping trip to Minneapolis for a weekend. Um, we grew up in Iowa right over the border because evidently there's no texts on clothing in Minneapolis, let alone the fact that it was a very long weekend and a very nice hotel eating out a lot.
So we did not save money, but we had a great time. So she did things for. And with us that instilled work ethic, but also instilled joy and helped us learn, learn things. Yeah. Yeah. She's always been so good about that. And I definitely see you've done a great job of that in raising us and giving us the same type of approach in all honesty.
Do you have any advice for the moms listening on raising kids who are, have that balance of work ethic resilience, but also like compassion and finding. I think something, all three [00:20:00] of us have done in our own way is find purpose in our life in a way that it's like we can shop every day and feel a lot of peace about what we're doing with our life.
And I think it's because we found purpose. I think it's because. We are very clear on what's important to us and showing it's so easy to get lost. At least I'm just speaking from like a viewpoint of a mom in today's day and age. I think it's really easy with so much noise and messaging to not know what your purpose is in the day-to-day to get lost in the mundane, like moments and hustle of motherhood and to not feel especially a stay at home.
Even working though, like, cause you're going to, going to work, dropping your kid off at daycare and then coming back and picking them up. And you've only got like a couple hours. I mean, it's, it can feel like such a grind and it can be really hard to find that joy and that passion. So what advice do you have on raising kids that do have that balance of work [00:21:00] ethic and doing the hard things and having consistency and discipline in their life?
Like I fully attribute all of those characteristics in me to you and dad and how I was paying. And the things I took part in growing up with sports and everything, but also balanced with joy and peace and what they're showing up for. So it's a good question because it's hard to find that balance and yeah, it's hard to find your purpose.
Honestly, what I will say is try to carve out that time for yourself because it's better, not only for you, but it's better for your children and your spouse too. It's better to have you as a whole person. So even though you feel that some of you may, I know I felt this. I felt that parent guilt. When I went, when I went to work out well, it's a mom guilt.
When I went to work out, I was thinking to myself, I should be there. I should be getting breakfast ready. But then at the same time, you really should let your spouse do those things too. You should [00:22:00] let your kids see that, and you should give yourself that chance to take time for yourself. You're not being selfish.
As a matter of fact, it's being more giving because you're a better you, when you take that time for yourself and then finding your purpose kind of comes with that. There's a long time where you do so much for others that you get lost in it. And then you do feel less of a purpose and less of a self-awareness.
So you walk that, it sounds like, yeah, I think I felt that way for awhile. You know, you had. You would just burn out. You would have one night where you would probably just sit there and cry and say, I can't do this anymore, but you can, and you really don't have a choice. You have to. Yeah. So take care of yourself.
Take that time. That's probably the one thing that took me a long time to learn. And after you learn that and you take the time for yourself, be it working out, be it a hobby, [00:23:00] something, anything to make you feel like you've had some, me-time just. It's better for your kids, better for you, better for your spouse.
And I think it helps you find your purpose. Do you think that helps your kids see, okay, I can work hard, but I also can find joy in what I'm doing. Do you think it helps them? It gives them that example of that balance? I would hope so. I mean, they may not realize. When they're little, but I mean, I watched you do your workouts and sometimes the boys are right with you, such a mess.
It is. And I know it's hard and I know you might have to do a rep and then stop for two minutes to redirect and then do another rep, but you're doing it and they're seeing it. And I think that's important. Well, I will say something I think has helped a lot in all of us having resilience is whenever we started something.
You wouldn't let us quit until like sports. For example, you start a sport. You're not allowed to quit until it's over. You had to finish the season or [00:24:00] the, if it was parks and rec and a three week program, you had to finish it. Yeah. Is there anything else similar to that kind of approach that you think helped develop in us, the characteristics that we have now, or that you would suggest parent, like any parenting advice like that, that you have?
Gosh, other than taking me time. Finish what you start. She pretty much nailed it. Balance of like caring and tough love. This is where I get it. I'm telling you, I don't know, take time for the little things. Cause as the older you get, what you're going to realize is if you miss out on time, like I look at my grandchildren.
If I miss out on time with them, even though tonight I could have gladly fallen asleep with one of them because I was so. I thought, well, no, you can't fall asleep with them because if you do, they'll expect that all the time. So you gotta get up, you got to get moving, but I would not give up because I was tired.
I would not [00:25:00] give up reading to him and talking to him tonight. Yeah. That was special. And it took a while too, but he's very talkative. He is talkative. So I think this would be fun for the listeners real quick. Give them your perspective on who I really am because. Social media you'll listen to me on the podcast.
Like I think you have a good idea, but from a mother's perspective and give them, just give them like the real life scoop of who I am. You never quite know what your children are ever do. I'm really impressed with what Liz has done, especially raising two children and being a military wife. Not like that.
I'm going to say it. It is real life. We were just talking about it. Laugh. She doesn't, she doesn't accept compliments. Well, no. That's not where I was going. So what I, I think I know where she was going because we both like to be in control. There it is. Yep. Boom. Um, we both like to be organized and prepared and in control, which [00:26:00] can be good because then if something comes up, you are ready.
You have the snack. The diapers. You have the diapers, you have packed for every single thing you need to pack for. When you go on a trip way, too many extra clothes, which can also drive you crazy. But in the end, it saves you because you are prepared. So being prepared, it may not even be being in control.
It may just be being prepared and organized, but on the flip side, it can drive our spouses. Crazy. Yes. Liz is much better at handling that at this age than I was, but I have learned one thing and I'm not trying to be, I'm not trying to put people in certain roles, but men and women are very different and it's a good thing.
But at the same time, you have to get a balance in there. And so we were laughing about the other night and talking about in St. Aug. How our spouses react by things that we [00:27:00] do. And our spouses were agreeing. We were all laughing. I mean, we're almost in tears because we were laughing about it because it was so true.
Was that the interrupting thing? Yes, we both interrupt, but it's because we have thoughts on our mind and we're afraid we won't be able to remember to say it when it comes to. And a really nice way is my brain is going a hundred miles an hour, all day long. And a lot of it's ideas for you guys listening, to be honest, I mean, you should see how many, I think I have over 700 notes in that phone.
Not kidding. Is there anything that you've been surprised about in me becoming a mother, but how I've changed? Yes, definitely. Um, growing up Liz was always very organized, very routine based. You can say type I, well, you are type a, but it was good for what you chose to do. I mean, you needed that. My schedule at school started at 7:00 AM.
I get home from school, have about 30 minutes to eat two peanut butter fluffer, Nutter [00:28:00] sandwiches, peanut butter, and fluff. So healthy. She also liked hot pockets. Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah, those are good. They would not make me feel very good now, but, um, I don't know, about 30 minutes shove some food in my face.
Get my volleyball stuff ready. And I'd be a viable practice. I mean, commute, their practice was like three or four hours commute back. I'd be home at like eight or 9:00 PM I think. And then I would have to do homework and I was in AP classes. I was in clubs. I mean, I think I slept like six hours a night in high school.
Not healthy either, but yeah, I had to be organized. She did. And I don't think, I don't think she knew how to do it any differently. But what always amazed me. She succeeded. I mean, this is the child that went to college. Her first semester got all A's and thought, oh, I'll just keep doing that. I'll just keep doing that.
So, you know, I'll play volleyball, I'll do a master's program in five [00:29:00] years and I will get all A's and she did, I white knuckled, a lot of it though, like a lot of it was like, I'm going to make this happen. Cause I committed to it. And I do that. I still do that sometimes, which is a weakness of mine being like, I'm just going to make this work.
I mean, I was at the point where I wish she would get a, B or a C or even a D. So how have you seen me change? Um, you have become much more flexible when I watched you with your kids. You roll with the punches, whereas before I would never see that, you know, you, it was hard for you to understand why people couldn't work the same way you did.
I still struggle with that. Um, but when you have kids, you realize. Oh, my gosh. Everybody's so different. And I mean, I see it. She's calm with her children. I mean, she may get frustrated. Her voice may raise, but I've never seen her yell. Um, and that's because how I saw you as a mom growing up too, I cannot remember.
But your [00:30:00] kids know when you're frustrated with them and when they've done something wrong. So that teacher training I had, and it can be a look or just a tone of voice, but it's not a yell. Yeah. Um, so I've seen Liz become much more resilient, much more go with the flow and able to handle things as they happen.
Not only as a parent, but as a spouse, being in a relationship and being married is wonderful, but it's probably also one of the hardest relationships she'll ever work at for a very good. So I've seen her work at things with her husband. I've seen her husband work at things with her. I mean, they, they work well together and it's obvious with their children.
Yeah. You have to be, I mean, even if we're not on the same page about something, I will submit my will in that situation and say, okay, like, we'll do that your way right now. And then we'll talk about it later because you'd have to be on the same. I remember you guys being that way too. Yeah. Well, I'll go ask her dad.
And if dad says the same thing, dad's going to say the same thing or vice versa. Usually it was asked out of them. [00:31:00] Ask mom, actually, no, it was usually ask you then asked. Oh really? Wow. Well, I, and I, I will say it's still happens now. My husband will have an opinion about something with the children, even in their adult lives and what their decisions are.
And I will find myself being quiet and not saying anything and not disagreeing with. If you're in front of us, if I'm in front of them, but I will talk to him about it later. And then I will talk to my kids about it and how I felt about it, but not in a disrespectful way. Hopefully. I mean, they're honestly, you will still get frustrated with your spouse.
You will still get frustrated with your children and that's okay. That's natural. Do you think the thing, the things you've seen me changing, do you think most of the moms listening probably have grown in similar ways since becoming moms? You have. I mean, you don't have a choice. Yeah. Because being a parent is giving up a part of yourself.
You can't have children and not give up something of you. Yeah. [00:32:00] That's just part of the deal. Yeah. So if there's not someone in their life that can point that out. Like you have for me. Uh, recognize that in them. Cause it can really, it can, I mean, it can be really hard to be going through motherhood and realize how you have grown.
I think it's very important to be self-aware and know how you're changing, how you're growing, what you might be struggling with, what you're getting better at because. When you can do that, it grows your confidence in saying, oh wow, I'm getting better at this one thing. Or I'm growing stronger in this resilience or this flexibility.
But if you can't take a second to recognize that, or don't have someone in your life to recognize that in you, it can be really disheartening because you're not noticing any change that you're making and changes. Tangible like the scale or your clothes. I mean, there's so much change going on day to day inwardly.
So what do you encourage? I mean, you said, yeah, like if you're a mom and you're listening, you have changed, you have grown, you've gotten more flexible. So is there anything you want to [00:33:00] encourage them with in that if they haven't ever recognized that growth in them? Well, maybe take the time to look at that because how do you take the time?
Yeah. What's your tip on that? Well, I will tell you how I take the time is I get up an hour before everybody else. And part of it is just to have peace and quiet. You've always done that. I've always done that. Okay. And were you ever a morning person? Because I mean, I cannot remember a part of my childhood where you were not up early, you were not up at like 6:00 AM or something.
Was that easy for you when you guys were little? It was not easy for me because I was exhausted, but. It was worth it. I mean, I still do it today. It's just my husband and myself at home because we're empty nesters. I still get up and I want about an hour to myself to drink my coffee. I like to do Pilates and I, I don't listen to the news because it's depressing and I don't want to start my day that way.
Yeah. I think it on social media, you have social media now, but you don't get on it. First thing. No, I don't. I'll get up and have my coffee and I'll do it. [00:34:00] Pilates. If I have this sound bad, if I have my time, because in real estate there some days when you don't have morning time, I prefer it to be morning time.
If it's not, I'll get out in the afternoon and go for a walk. Yeah, those are so good. So good. And this woman has, oh, I mean, really he's always been consistent in that, in those things, in your health and then being active and getting out there a few last questions to wrap things up. So the world can be a very dark place and you've experienced hard things.
And I know, I mean, just in the, you said you don't watch the news, but I know, you know, what goes on in the world cause you do stay up on those things. So where do you find the good in every day when stuff can be so difficult? So part of that with the current job, I have part of that every morning. I learned this through our companies.
You wake up with gratitudes. So in the morning when I say I have my car. All you have to do is think of a few things that make you happy and it doesn't [00:35:00] have to be monumental. It doesn't have to be, oh my gosh. I'm so happy that my child is getting married and we're planning this huge wedding. It can be.
So I am so happy that I have woken up in a home. I am so happy that I have. I am so happy that I had this nice hot, warm cup of coffee in front of me. It's not cold. I don't have . You left your microwave, your coffee in the microwave this morning. And I laughed so hard. It's like, ah, that is the story of everyone's life.
It is. Or you have your cell phone in your hand and you wonder where it's at. I mean, those things happen to everybody, but just take the time out. I don't care if it's in the morning. I don't know what your favorite time of day. And you can be driving in a car and just think of one thing you're thankful for.
Yeah, you were always, I remember too. You're always like very happy to see us when we got up in the morning. And I, I tried to do that same thing for my kids. Cause I do know, and something I've come to learn as the, the mom, [00:36:00] honestly, on an emotional and mental level sets the tone for the home. You know, when I'm in a bad mood, it reflects right off on my family and they're in a bad mood or a little crazy.
And if I choose to switch my attitude, they will mirror that and switch it. So did you do anything intentionally in the mornings? You said recently that's like a realist. You've learned that through your real estate company, but I always remember you being in a pretty good mood in the mornings when we would get up.
So aside from taking that time for yourself, did you do anything on the mindset side to help you choose that? Every single day? She's a good attitude every day. I didn't see the point in choosing a bad attitude. Yeah. It is all in how you start, even if they retired, even if things are hard, things are always harder for somebody else.
And I know that sounds cliche, but you may be having a bad day and, and please understand we all have bad days. Don't ever knock yourself for that because it's hard. What you're [00:37:00] doing is hard and it's worth it. If it wasn't worth it, it wouldn't, it'd be easy. Right. So when you're having those frustrating days, it's because you.
It's not because you're mad, it's because you care and you want it to go well and you want it to be the best for everybody. And that's why you get so frustrated is because you care. So it makes what you're doing worth it. Yeah. It's a good reminder that I'm feeling this way because ultimately matters so much to me.
Right. And it, your health matters to you, your diet matters to you, your. Your mental wellbeing, your children, your family, your spouse, your friends. And if you just take it a little bit at a time, instead of all at once it's doable. Yeah. Yes. Big time, especially in the early years. Moment by moment. Do you have a favorite quote or verse?
I do. I like success by Ralph Waldo. Emerson. Is that a quote? [00:38:00] It is right there. Oh, Well, you get that down and read it real quick. I will, since they can't see it, I actually have it in a couple of different frames throughout the house. And it worked. How long have you guys had this? So this is a larger version of the original one.
Okay. I used to be on your dad's desk. We're up in my dad's office right now, his home office. So it is called success and it's attributed to Emerson, but there's some discussion as to whether it was really him. It says to laugh often in most. To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived that is to have succeeded.
I've heard the last part of that. That is my favorite. Yeah, that's [00:39:00] good. And I like that part too, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, that's special because that's what we're doing as moms. I like that quote, what are you most proud of? My children, most proud of my children. Why is that?
Like, what can a mom look forward to? Cause she. It's probably sitting there going I'm exasperated tired. That sounds great. But they're like two and one and I'm just tired. So like why, what can they, what can they look forward to in that? And I think like, I mean, I've got little ones, one and a half and three and a half.
I'm very proud of them. I mean, like they're my joy. So down the road, what, what will make that even better? What makes that better? What makes it better is to see them here. I mean, that's the best thing. And what I was talking about earlier is that your dad's definition of success and happiness. My definition of success and happiness is not the same as my children's.[00:40:00]
It doesn't have to be, I mean, just to see your child happy in what they are doing and who they are is success and it makes you feel good. Yeah. And how they're impacting the world and leaving other people around them. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. I mean, my main goal is that my children are happy. Yeah.
Where can everyone follow you? Do they want them to follow you or just find you in case they need a real estate agent? Oh gosh. I feel like my daughter's putting a plug for me in here. I do have an Instagram and I do have a Facebook page and I do have a business page. Lisa Terry. Gullett right. That's correct.
It's newer. It is newer because you know, I'm in my late fifties, almost 60, not a big person on social media other than Facebook, but I realized that different ages. Have different social medias that they, whenever you share pictures of the boys, they [00:41:00] like pop there's thousands of likes. No, she's definitely hundreds though.
My grandchildren they're the most popular people you share. So cute. But yeah, if you do need a real estate agent in South Carolina in Charleston, she's your girl. She, her, her goal really is to make sure that you find out. Yours and home, and it's cool to watch. I'm like, I just, part of me is like, I want to move there so I can just have that experience from you, but it's not in our cards right now with the military.
So, um, last thing I ask every guest is just a little bit of advice for the listeners. So tough. Love you. I feel like you could probably define this because you live it, but it's just being straight forward because you care about. Pretty simple. It's being straightforward and honestly, just get it done.
That's your, okay. I was going to say, what do you want to leave them with? What tough love do you want me to just get it done? How, oh yeah. Well, it doesn't mean it happens at the same time every day. You have to be flexible. Get what done, what it is. [00:42:00] You care about what it is you want. Think you need to do, should be doing so it's the tasks for the.
Knock them out. Just get them done one by one. Don't look at it as one big, big, huge day. I've got 20 things. I've got to get done. Pick one, get it done, go to the next one. And it can be self care. It could be something that you're doing for your family. It could be planning a meal, whatever it is, nothing is my Newt, but nothing is too much.
Yeah. I'm going to have to ask you this, like probably once a week. Cause I feel like you just have these little wisdom bombs to drop. No, I just think, I mean, otherwise you just work yourself into a worry. Yeah. So just take it step by step and piece by piece. Yeah. And you'll be amazed how much you can get done.
Yeah, definitely. And I, this is something Holly said too, when. Messaged me when I told her you were coming on, that she was like, I just remember she [00:43:00] was, she could just do it all. It seemed like she was always doing it all. Did you ever feel like you were doing it all because I look at you even to this day and I'm like, man, she really didn't do it all.
Like she was active. She was taking care of us, cooking all the meals, running the household, like so much of it seems like that. Did it ever feel like you were doing it all? Well, I do think you have your days when you have overload. Yes. I don't think I felt that very often, but it's also goes back to what you said about being organized.
I will preplan and prepare to a fault and I'm a list-maker and I know Liz is too doesn't mean you have to be, but that's the way I work the best. I just try to be prepared, excuse me, that preparation, that preparation and that diligence of do one thing. Get it done. Move on to the next. Makes it, it creates this like facade of you're getting it all done, but really you're just getting things done that are priorities and piece by piece.
It doesn't mean you can do it all on one day and sometimes you have to [00:44:00] regroup at the end of the day and reorganize for the next day and re reprioritize. Right, right. Yeah. How did you identify your priorities as I'm like carrying out? This is like the bonus PS section, but how'd you how'd you pick your priorities with so much on your plate?
All that. So it's situational. I mean, you can't, do you have like main buckets though that were priorities for you when we were little or throughout any part of motherhood? Well, the mundane tasks were always things that had to get done. And I don't mean mundane because they do, they are important, but you take care of your family.
You take care of your home. I mean, you just do that and you take care of yourself. I will say that, you know, at some points taking care of myself came last because when your kids are little. You don't often get a choice as to when you get that time. So you kind of have to fit it in somewhere. So your, your routine can change for the day.
And, but you have to be willing to make those changes. When I'm hearing though, you said it might not come first. It might come [00:45:00] last, but you didn't say it didn't come correct. So what were those buckets? And you said your family, your home and yourself. Yes. And you always had those. They were always in a different order, but one of them.
That the caring for yourself always came in at some point, I think it has to, I mean, you're going to miss some days when you can't do what you want to do for yourself because of time. Yeah. You can't go all out. You can't get the workout and eat all the right meals. Right. And like take the mental health self care, but there's always one way you can take care of yourself.
Okay. Oh yeah. I'm a big reader. So at nighttime I would read, and that would be my downtime and my, some of my self-care was just. Historical fiction. I don't. I mean, because it took me out of one area. We different, we do, this is, this is her father, she and her father likes self-help and, um, personal development, personal development fiction.
I would take myself out of my current world in historical fiction because. [00:46:00] Pulled my mind out of everything that I was thinking about, but let your mind turn off. Yes, it, I should do that more often. It did it, let my mind turn off. That's exactly it. Yeah, but you always made time for that self care, even if it was the last thing before you went to bed.
That's good. That's good. So, mama, if you, you know, identify those priorities work might be in there too. If you're not a stay at home mom in the season, or if you work from home, you know, there's so many ways that. But figure out what those buckets are and make sure they always show up in your day, even if they're in different order, it might show up last, but it shows up very true and be willing to reprioritize that.
So good. Thanks for coming on today, mom. Thanks for having me happy. This is the day. Well, the week of mother's day, so happy mother's day to all you moms out there know that you are, you are loved and you are so important and you are cared for, do you have any other encouragement for. As moms just always remember how amazing you are and how your kids look up to [00:47:00] you.
I mean, they, they think you are the best and when they're sad, when they are hurt, they go to you. Yeah. You were there. The rock and the world. Thank you for being mine. Happy mothers. Happy mother's day. Goodness. I don't know about you, but I teared up at the end there listening, really listening, but I just hope you were so encouraged by my mom's words and her story.
I know I'm I thank you for making it to the end of this and hanging around for two parts and. All of who she is and what she had to share. I think every mom out there you included is just a wealth of experience and information and encouragement. So that's why I bring the moms, all the moms and all the different expertise is, and experiences and everything on this podcast, because I know you will it be so served by them.
So I hope there was something that impacted you in a human. Huge way from this two part episode, this two-part interview. I hope you know, that you are loved, [00:48:00] you are so important and you are the rock in some little people's worlds and you are so, so, so vital to the future and future generations. And I just hope that you have the best mother's day weekend.
I hope you have the best mother's day week and know that you are celebrated and you're so important. Every. Single day. Go get after it. Mama, before you go. Thank you for spending this time with me on the tough love mom podcast. This episode encouraged you in any way. The number one way you can thank me is to leave a review, letting me know how the show has impacted you.
Then. Send this episode to another mom friend, or take a screenshot posted on social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me on this journey to impact thousands of moms. I'm so grateful to be on this journey with you sister until next time. Get after it.
