How to Deal With Feeling More Stressed and Mentally “Messy” Because of All of the Clutter That Comes With Having Kids
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A huge factor in stress management IS indeed fitness and nutrition, but there are tons of other factors that play in as well — our space being one of them! Especially a space that is decluttered, organized, and simple.
In today's episode, Lauren White — host of the Intentional Edit Podcast — and I dive into how to manage the "stuff" that comes with becoming a mom and the clutter that tends to follow so that mentally we don't feel as "messy." You'll learn simple, time efficient strategies that will help you stay on top of things at home even if you truly have NO extra time to purge, declutter, or organize!
Lauren is a mom and former teacher turned professional home organizer, business owner, and simplicity enthusiast who is passionate about being organized, efficient and helping families find simplicity. Her mission is to help busy, overwhelmed moms find solutions that bring simplicity to their home and life, which result in less stress and more time spent with their most cherished friends and family. Time to LEARN, mama!
Questions Lauren answers in this episode —
What is the connection between physical, visual clutter and feeling mentally "messy"?
How does eliminating or reducing clutter helps relieve stress as a new mom?
What is considered "clutter"?
Why we do we let clutter gather up?
What can happen when we reduce clutter?
What are 3-5 action steps the listener can implement this week to deal with current clutter situations and all the "stuff" so it's not this big, overwhelming purging project when you have little ones to take care of?
If moms are feeling like the clutter is simply too much and want to tackle purging where should they begin and how can they be successful with a big project like this?
Are you ready to go from overwhelmed and stuck to disciplined and consistent in your journey?
Book your Starting Point Session and let's get you on track to your healthiest life!
FULL TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] We talk a lot here about habits and the mental side of everything going on and how physical activity and nutrition play a huge role in stress management as a new mom. But something else that I think is important to remember is that stress management alone is not done through workouts and nutrition.
It's also done through other things. It's very holistic. It's very wholesome. That it includes having systems in routine and organization within your home and dealing with relationships and emotional issues that you might have from the past. There's so much that goes into dealing and coping with stress.
Well, and yes, because we talk about your journey here. Fitness and nutrition are a huge part of that, but another part of that is not living, living in a cluttered. Area, not living in a cluttered space and having organization and systems in place. So today you get to hear from Lauren of the intentional edit podcast.
She's a mom and a former teacher [00:01:00] turned professional home organizer. She's also a business owner and she loves. Simplicity, all things simplicity. She's passionate about being organized efficient, and helping families find that simplicity. And you're going to learn that from her today. She's got expertise in decluttering, home organization, time management, simplifying.
Setting up routines, implementing systems and managing family schedules. And today we dive into clutter and how it affects us mentally. She gives us some super simple strategies, like the five minute rule and use need, want and habit stacking, and a few other things that will help you start to manage the clutter because when we have.
Like a thousand things come into our home that we didn't have before. And it all comes in in this like big tidal wave and all of a sudden we have all this stuff everywhere. Right. Doesn't it feel like that. So she teaches you today how to start dealing with that. So it doesn't add up and add that mental stress.
You are going to be so blessed by this conversation. So let's go listen in[00:02:00]
Pay mama. Welcome to the tough love mom podcast. I know you're here because you're ready to get consistent and finally lose that weight. And you're not afraid of a little tough love, you know, what to do to lose weight. But following through on those things feels impossible. You wish you could just feel like your strong, confident self again, and want to be a good example for your little ones, but you get thrown off by mom guilt and the unpredictability of motherhood.
Frustrating taking on your journey. Postpartum is hard, but it's not impossible. Hey, I'm Liz and I've been where you are. I gained a lot of weight in my pregnancies, 90 pounds, and then 60 pounds. I needed to lose that weight to take control of my health. And honestly just wanted to feel like myself again, with the sustainable approach to weight loss, symbol, consistency in working on my mindset.
I lost it all in just over a year before. And I'm here to help you do the [00:03:00] same. I believe that we have an ingrained ability to figure out what we need to do, make it happen and do it in a way that Oz the world. If you're ready to start, stop falling off the wagon, create solid routine and healthy habits.
And finally. Inside and out all enjoying diamond nuggets on your salad, you are in the right place. We're about to transform your journey. My friend get pumped up. It is tough. Love time.
Hey Lauren. So excited to have you on today and have you share about this? Everything clutter and cluttering and getting organized, especially as a newer mom, you're a mom as well. So you've been through. But what got you passionate at the start, um, with simplicity and organization, like what got you into that?
Because as moms, it can be like we're in the thick of it and we just never really get out of the messiness and the clutter. So how did you get past, when did that start and how did it turn into the business [00:04:00] that you have? Well, thank you for having me. It is so fun to be talking with you on your show today.
Um, to answer your question, I have always been an organized person. Like I think those are just some of my natural characteristics and I actually have a funny story where when I was in fifth grade, I rearranged one of my friend's closets and lined up her shoes in rainbow order. So, um, that it definitely began there.
And the, I started with a professional home organizing business about five years ago. When well, because prior to that, my friends and family were always having me help them with organizing projects or coming to me for ideas on decorating or how to simplify things like that. And they would say things like, oh, you should get paid to do this.
And I didn't think 10 years ago, no one had heard of a professional home organizer. Well, I knew I could do that. I didn't [00:05:00] really think it was a legitimate business. And then the timing just aligned and I started that and then it kind of morphed into coaching clients. Um, a lot of people need help with systems and routines and creating simplicity in their homes, in addition to decluttering and the actual like decluttering the physical items.
So now the business is more. Virtual with coaching and working with moms busy moms that are really in the thick of it and just helping them simplify and come up with routines and rhythms for different stages of life to feel better and not so overwhelmed and stressed all the time. Yeah, because that physical clutter can, even though.
It's not actually something we have to deal with that can cause a lot of distress mentally. Um, and I know we're going to talk more about that, but I think it's so cool that you just had that natural gifting in you and [00:06:00] organization. And it's always been something you've just been drawn to do kind of like, I personally have someone who just likes to plan.
And so it's natural for me to like whip my planner out and make sure we have everything set with our kids' schedules and everything. And when you can lean into that, Really build on that strength. And even if you want it to like you to turn it into a business, I think it's really cool when people are able to do that.
Not just notice it in themselves, but capitalize on it. Um, whether financially or by helping other people or making their own life easier. So I think it's really cool. You did that. But talking about the connection between like that physical clutter, all the stuff that we see it because it's there, especially as a new mom, like all the pack and plays and the toys and the bright, everything everywhere all the time.
I feel like I'm saying this because this is what my house looks like. Even though we're recording, while I'm on vacation, I'm sitting here thinking back of what we have to go to. And I'm like, I wish I said that. I tried to do that, man, at cleaning before we left [00:07:00] to come onto a messy house. But it can lead to feeling mentally messy.
So how does that work? Like what's the connection between the physical stuff that we see and how it makes us feel mentally. Can you talk about that? I know this is something that you could dive into forever, but give us like a basic overview of the connection. So far, the basics would be clutter overall is overwhelming and our different types of clutter, whether it's physical or mental and they all can mesh together.
But it's the overall consensus is it is overwhelming. When you have stacks of paper or like what you said when you are in the new stages of. No parents, a lot of kids come with a lot of stuff. And I actually just recorded an episode on this because the, the amount of things that are required, like in this early stages, postpartum.
Is really kind of crazy. And then you think some of these things you only need for a few weeks, some you need [00:08:00] for a few months, and then if you are on a second or third baby, then all of a sudden you have a kid, a toddler, a baby, and even a baby requires different stuff than a newborn. So the clutter creeps in quickly.
And if you don't have systems in place to manage that, it's just another thing to stress you out and overwhelmed. And an already, ever changing phase of life that you're in. Absolutely. And I talk a lot about how physical movement and nourishing your body while can help that stress and that overwhelm feeling.
But it's not the only cure. Like I think, I think that's something it can, I can pitch in my hole myself, into pigeon hole myself into, because. That's what I talk about. And I think moms can get blinded by, oh, well, that's my one solution, but really it's multi-faceted and it's dealing with emotional stressors.
It's dealing with visual clutter. It's also dealing with relationships in our life and making sure all of that holistically is dealt with not just for moving our body and we're eating well. [00:09:00] Why am I still overwhelmed and stressed? Well, there might be physical clutter in your house that needs to be dealt with.
Um, so what, like what's considered called clutter and. When, when a mom can actually take care of that, how's it going to help her just mentally, overall? Okay. So let's identify what physical clutter is. The true definition is really anything lying around in an untidy mass. So a lot of things can be considered clutter that, that some people probably don't even think of as clutter.
But first of all, you have to give yourself grace, especially as a new mom. Things are coming into your house constantly. You probably have a lot of visitors. You have a lot of things going on that are different than they were a few months ago. So just remember that clutter is common. It's, it's something that takes up your space.
It takes up your time and it truly wastes your time. I am because when things are cluttered, you are looking for things. You, everything doesn't have a home. [00:10:00] You spend a time and you waste time looking for things that you don't know where they are, and it consumes your energy. Uh, especially the first few weeks after having a baby, you are sleep deprived and you need to conserve as much energy as possible.
So. Dealing with that clutter can be even more stressful during those phases of life. Um, uh, I already said it's overwhelming. It increases your stress. It's, it's just an honest settling feeling in your home where you might not even identify. At where these feelings are coming from, but the clutter is contributing to that overall feeling.
It can be heavy and bog you down. Um, it really makes it harder to relax and unwind when you do have those. And then it also, when you have people coming into your home, clutter can make you feel embarrassed and ashamed. So there's so many things to this, [00:11:00] depending on your personality type, too, uh, too much clutter really is.
Th it overstimulating for your brain and your nervous system. And so it can put you on sensory overload. So you have, okay, so you have all of these things that clutter is doing these negative effects. And most of the time we, we acknowledge that things are cluttered or things are messier than we like.
But what do we do about that as busy moms? Dealing with the clutter often gets pushed to the side because there are other things that are at the forefront that we have to deal with, but things become easier when we deal with that clutter and we have systems in place. So the clutter doesn't constantly creep back in.
I can totally see that. I mean, I'm just like thinking about our main living space. It's like an open concept, kitchen living room, dining room area, and. I think about the random, like broken toy pieces that I'll pick up and I'll just put it on the kitchen counter [00:12:00] because I'll deal with it later. And then it stays there for like two weeks or things like the hand sanitizer that could be in a cabinet, but I just leave it out because I use it really often.
Well, it's something that wasn't there a year ago. Um, but now with two toddlers and helping someone go potty and then. Poopy toddler diapers. I mean, I'm constantly using it because my hands are gross during the day. So there's little things like that. Would that be considered clutter? Just having stuff like that out that I didn't have out before.
Cause I find myself. It's interesting. You said overstimulated. That's a word that I've started to use in my vocabulary. Cause I noticed between the noise of my kids and the visual clutter that does gather up around my own house. I'm not perfect at this. Like at all, I probably need to hire you, but with those different things, I get overstimulated very easily and I'm like, uh, considered an introverted extrovert or an extroverted introvert, whatever the combination there is.
So like with people I'm comfortable with super open, comfortable [00:13:00] behind a mic by myself know I'm like, I'm good. But when it comes to too much people, noise stuff. Overwhelmed very easily. So I'm like, is stuff like that considered clutter. And what would be an easy way just to like start dealing with it, even when it feels like there's no time to do anything else in your life, everyone has a different clutter threshold.
So if you are more towards the minimalist and you like your counters cleared off, Then yes, that bottle of hand sanitizer is going to bug you, but if it's being used and it's something that's used throughout the day, you need to find a place where it's practical and it's really not clutter in that situation.
Now, the, the broken toy that has lived on the counter now for six weeks, that would be identified as clutter. And it's kind of one of those things where you have to make the decision in the moment. Can the toy be fit? Yes, like, does it need to go to the garage for a tool? Does it, it doesn't live on the [00:14:00] clamp on the counter.
Can you, can you do something with it or are you just putting it there? Because it needs to go in the trash. So it's, it's making those decisions to eliminate the clutter, but if you only have an extra hand sanitizer and a broken toy, On your chemist a lot more on the counter sale. You're doing pretty good.
I don't think you put glitter problem. So what if a mom? Okay, so decision fatigue. I feel like the mom listening probably knows what that is cause I've talked about it. And I feel like it's more commonly talked about in a lot of different areas, which is good, but is that why? Because you just said, okay, that broken toy that you picked up, you have to decide what to do with.
Is that why clutter is that a big reason? Clutter tends to gather up because we're going to have to decide what to do with this, but I don't want to make that decision right now. Decision fatigue is very real. That can be some of it, but it's also, when you're putting yourself into a [00:15:00] situation that you haven't been in before, like you, as a mom, you might identify with your crew thing, wand doesn't work anymore.
It goes to the. But it as a kit with, with new kids and new moms, you are in a different situation where maybe you don't want to throw that toy away. Like this was a special toy. It's broken. It doesn't work. You, you have to embrace the new systems and tape. You would do in other situations and put them into this new phase of being a mom and having the kids and bring the practical solutions into this new world, with those scenarios.
Interesting. Okay. That makes a lot more sense because I can, I can do that. I'm like, oh, I haven't used the shampoo because I switched the shampoo brand I use. And so it's been sitting, it is sending in one of our linen clauses. I just need to go through the box and throw stuff. I'm not going to have any emotional attachment or issue doing that.
I just haven't done it yet because I can't see it it's closed in a closet, [00:16:00] but with stuff with my kids, like we've still got baby. I mean like newborn baby stuff, a boppy pillow, a doc top things that we don't use that we're looking to donate, but they're sitting in our hallway because I it's a new situation thing.
That's super interesting. Let's say a mom's like, she's like, wow, Liz sounds a lot like me where she's got stuff around the house she needs to clean. What are some, so maybe this is, I'm like, here I need, I need this coaching right now, but what are some simple action steps that the listener can implement?
Like ASAP something she can do quick? Cause I think all that clutter, it gets overwhelming. Looking at it day-to-day but thinking, I mean, that next step of what do I do with it? Oh my gosh. That's a whole nother thing. I need a whole day to like purge my house, but we don't have a whole day. So what are some simple steps she can do?
So like cleaning up the clutter situations going on around the house, isn't this huge overwhelming project that she needs to find time to take on. Cause there's [00:17:00] like no time to find. So what can she do to simply start taking these things on? So usually when you have. It's in your house that when we are talking today where identifying it as clutter it's as just a human being, you're thinking thoughts, like I need to get organized or it's too messy.
And a lot of the things that are out are probably things that you use, you need, you want. And again, you have to remember that. The phases of life and the stages of life with little ones changes rapidly. So it's the good systems and routines that you have in place that keep these things orderly and organized.
So what you want to do is create systems and routines. That work in your life. And then as the ages of your kids change and what they're capable of and what they need to change, then you can modify those systems. But in the meantime, you're left with the. [00:18:00] Unorganized areas and the clutter. So you're wanting to feel less stressed.
You want your house to feel like it's more organized. You want to know where things are when you need it. And like you said, what do you do with the old boppy pillow? What do you do with the high chair? There's so many things that you can do and a thorough purge is necessary. But when you have littles at home, you don't have a whole day.
You might have 20 minutes here or there. So a couple of things that are important is developing new habits and routines that fit into your new way of life. Those you can be referred to as habits, systems, routines, rhythms, any of that. But the first thing I want moms to think about is using minutes here and there.
So I have something that I refer to as the five minute rule. If you can do something in five minutes or less, or make a decision, these could be things like make a doctor's appointment, put a load of laundry into the washing machine. [00:19:00] Anything that takes five minutes or less do it then, because a lot like five minutes.
Doesn't seem like a long time, but you can actually cross things off your to-do list. If you have five times throughout the day where you have five minutes to get something done, you are ahead five times. Yeah, I love that strategy. And everyone's got a five minute time where they can set when the kids are sitting down eating or any.
Yeah. I love that. Or the kids are strapped into the car and you're getting the last minute stuff out. It's like, okay, I'm I I'll do that a lot where I'll put, I'll be filling up water bottles to go into the car. But then at the same time that I'm filling those up. If I'm, you know, I'm right there in the center of our kitchen, by the counter, I'll put away a few.
It's not everything, but it's a few things. I love that. Okay. So those are great things that you've implemented in your life. And obviously everyone is different. So you have to customize it to what works for you and the stage of life that you're currently in. But thing is [00:20:00] like the mail, mail and paper clutter adds up quickly.
But if you only get the mail. A couple times a week, or even less than that, like we rarely get the mail because everything is pretty much digital. So every time I go to the mailbox, I walk into my kitchen, we have a trash and recycling can, and I sorted out there. Most of it goes to the recycling. There's usually some junk mail that has to go into the trash and then there might be one or two pieces.
And sometimes there's not really anything that you even have to deal with. And then those things go to a designated place to deal with them right away. If I didn't have that system that probably. Two to three minutes. Then I would have stacks of mail that are completely irrelevant to my life just causing clutter and being an irritation to the people in my home.
So that's just one example. And that is something that it doesn't matter if you are 19 years old living on [00:21:00] your own for the first time, or if you're 75, that's a system that can always stay and will always be the same. But with kids you want to. Do the things that you're doing, like you're filling up the water bottles that takes a couple of minutes.
You're putting something away at the same time. If you have to do something in a room of your house where you can restock your diaper bag quickly, that is very, uh, a very quick process. Do that. Like start doing that at the same time. And then that's something that takes less than five minutes. There's all kinds of things that you can do when you think.
Only have five minutes or I don't have the time to do this, but there are many, many things that take five minutes or less, that you can clear off your list. And those things on your list are mental clutter. And those are also adding to your stress and your feelings of overwhelm. That's interesting. It's kind of like habit stacking where you're saying, okay, I already do this one thing.
So because that's already a habit [00:22:00] for me, it's already routine. I'm just going to add this other new habit onto it, to kind of mesh them together and make it this new one half. To also help clear the clutter at the same time really quickly, you mentioned in passing used neat. Like it's something that you use something you need or something you want.
How do you section stuff when not how, but when you suction things and like when you categorize them like that, what is the end purpose of categorizing things into you use it, you need it, or you want it. And then how do you. Treat each type of item. When you were going to look at something with the intention of purging and decluttering, then that's a very basic way to look at something like your, your cabinets are too full.
You now have baby bottles and toddler dishes and all of these things you didn't have with. Or, and in your limited kitchen, there, there's not enough place for this, for all these new [00:23:00] things. So what happens is you have to get rid of some other things. So, so does a family with two coffee drinkers, need 30 coffee cups.
No, you can get rid of some of those. So you're thinking game, do I need this? And you're really looking at every individual item. Whenever I have people declutter, I have them remove all of the items. And if you are a mom with limited time, You want to look at the spaces that you're organizing and break it down and to individual areas, because you probably are only going to have 20 minutes here and there to work on these projects.
So in the kitchen, for example, to continue with that, you go to that one cabinet or the one shelf in the cabinet. You're not looking at the entire kitchen. The yes, the kitchen is causing you to feel stressed out and overwhelmed the looks of it causing. Yeah. When people are cutting over, but take it one step at a time, go to the shelf [00:24:00] and eliminate some of the coffee cups.
You can touch every single one. Do I use this? If you use it, then it's most likely going to be something that you keep, do I need it? If you have 30, the answer to all 30 is not a necessity. It's not something that, you know, and do I want it, some of those things might be something you want because of a sentimental value.
And that's fine as long as you're using it. So the need use one is a very basic way that you can tackle purging. There's a lot more that goes into it when you're really stuck. Things like coffee cups can be easier. Um, but when you're really in the depths of truly decluttering an entire house, then they're like, I have more questions that I can give you to touch every single item that will guide you through.
Exactly. How to purge and declutter because you, you make your way down the list. And then, you know, if this is something that [00:25:00] you can live without, that you truly don't need, or that is something that you should keep. Yeah. I love that. And it's cool. Cause you can pair all these simple strategies that you're giving right now.
And I know you've got like a thousand more. So if you're sitting here going, oh my gosh, this is like blowing my mind. I need all the things. Lauren's got a podcast too called the intention, a lot of podcasts and it's phenomenal. Like I listened to it. I learned so much, but, um, the, the few simple things you've shared today between use need and want categorizing things that way and your, or not categorizing, but going through those questions in your mind when you're purging using the five minute rule, different, simple strategies, like the.
I mean, that's something you can take away and start doing immediately. After listening to this podcast, you can say, okay, I'm going to take it. And then taking things one at a time, like one drawer, one shelf, one shelf of the linen closet, not even the whole thing, but just one little tiny area at a time.
And maybe starting, it's probably best to start with the one that bothers you the most, right? Like for me, My kitchen [00:26:00] counter. Like it can just gather stuff randomly throughout the course of a week or two. And I need to usually I'll handle it all at once, but it takes a little bit more time, so I could even spend five minutes.
Okay. I'm going to tackle this one section of the counter. Take care of it. Boom. Next time I have five minutes in a day. I can probably take care of it all with that 20, 25 minutes I have, but I love those simple strategies you gave. Is there anything else you wanted to share to help the moms listening to.
Remember that decluttering build. So you have come up with this system and you've identified that a messy counter is stressful for you. So you know how to deal with that and tackle that in different sections throughout the day. It might take you a year, a year is real a realistic timeframe to get through an entire house.
When you see those little memes that say, get organized in a week, if you do this, this and this that's, that's not going to happen. That's very misleading and can add to your stress. So good to know. Cause I [00:27:00] feel like moms see stuff on Instagram and they go, oh, this is the answer I'm inspired by watching this Netflix show when they're rocking their breastfeeding or rocking their little baby, that's like six weeks old going, I can do it.
And. Give it more time. Right. And what you don't realize is eight P a per a crew of eight. People just came into that house to do those things and did not have any sentimental attachment to it there. So following true systems for purging and looking at decluttering and purging completely separate from organizing they're two different things and you can't get organized until you declutter and purge, but also.
Having the mindset that as a mom and a newer parent, you are already doing so much and thinking about the things that you are accomplishing in a day, whether it's feeding your kids, taking a shower, getting dressed, dropping off at preschool on time. All of these things. I mean, we [00:28:00] could quickly come up with a list of a hundred things that moms do throughout the day, just because you're not getting something else done does not mean you're a failure.
Don't self sabotage yourself. There are so many little things you can do that become habits. And then like what you said, it's the habit stacking. So just quickly, a couple other things. When moms are overwhelmed, laundry is a huge one. I constantly get questions about managing. So think about doing one to two loads of laundry a day.
And one thing that you can do is have a different laundry basket either for every person of that house or for every room. So if you have kids that share a room or you share a room, or sometimes people like to have their laundry baskets in the bathrooms, that's fine. But have more than one. And when the laundry basket is full, it goes to the washing machine.
So moving through the house, if you have four kids, [00:29:00] each kid might have a different day of the week where you're putting that best, that laundry, the dirty laundry in the washing machine, washing that. And when it's done fold and put away. And then you can do the same thing with towel sheets, all of that.
But then the laundry doesn't become overwhelming because doing the laundry is a ha. Folding and putting away five loads of laundry at the same time, it was extremely time consuming and frustrating. But when you do one or two every day, it's not a big deal. And it just comes in and becomes routine in that day.
So that's one thing. And then another thing you can do to save time as a new parent or a busy mom is stop making separate trips for things. Think about your day, evaluate your week and run errands. When they make sense. If you need to get gas in the car, never make a special trip, leaving your house to go get gas.
You get gas when you drive by the gas station. [00:30:00] Um, things like that, same thing with grocery, a lot of people now aren't even going to the grocery store. It's just a grocery pickup or a grocery delivery. It's very easy to put a calendar reminder in or something in your phone that gets you in the habit of placing your grocery order so that you can pick it up on the way home from preschool or on a certain day of the week where, you know, you are already driving by or in that general area, because you just spent 10 or 15 minutes.
Picking something up instead of 45 minutes, making a special trip to do that. So things like that. And the last thing which could be the most important going forward is start an evening routine, get in the habit of doing a evening routine that will set you up for success. So the next day, picking out clothes.
Packing lunches the night before filling up water bottles, anything that you can do the night before to set you up for success the next [00:31:00] day, clearing the kitchen counters. That would be a big one for you, making sure the dishes are put away, but things like that make it so that you wake up and you're already prepared.
So it reduces your stress level from the moment that you wake up in the morning, walking out into the kitchen and seeing a cluttered counter and a sink full of dirty dishes as a sure way to make you a little bit grumpy to start the day. And you can flip that around with the opposite. When you have put those things into your evening routine, and as your kids get older, then you give your kids responsibilities and chores, even if it's just a few minutes here and there, when you have.
There is that sweet spot where kids love doing chores and anything to help put dishes away, load the dishwasher, things like that is a big accomplishment for them and they love it. So get your whole family involved. It doesn't, it's not all your responsibility, [00:32:00] but an evening routine is here. Yeah. Oh yeah.
That's something actually started timing certain things in my evening routine, like picking up the living room, which is also our toy room and, um, like doing the dishes. So I like to empty the sink at the end of the day. I don't do it throughout the day. And there's more nights than not where I don't feel like doing it at all.
And so all the time myself to be like Liz, that took four months. Chill, like stop being so dramatic in your head about how long this actually takes you to deal. So that's really encouraging to hear, and there's even nights too, where I really genuinely I'm like, I should just go to sleep instead of trying to deal with all this right now.
And I mentally prepare myself. I'm like, and I'm going to wake up to it and that's okay because I will deal with it tomorrow. So I think it's, are there times, even for you yourself, I know you're more naturally inclined to do all of this stuff, but how do you encourage either yourself or your client? And the imperfection, because I think there are days where we're really good at this stuff.
And then there's days where it's just not as easy or we don't do it when we usually do, even if it becomes habit. So how [00:33:00] do you encourage people to stay the course not get discouraged, not beat themselves up, over not being perfect at this? Well, if you have a baby that is not sleeping through the night yet, then you have to prioritize sleep.
So do not. From yourself and do not make this a strict thing that if you miss a couple of nights a week, it is going to be a negative thing for you because your overall health and wellbeing is the most important. Now having the systems in place and implementing these systems that replace on a healthy habits that.
Probably currently taking up your time that is going to make all doing all these things easier. So this is not something that happens overnight. It takes time and give yourself grace to be very forgiving when you are in those stages. If you have a baby, if you have a baby or a sick child or something, there are going to be times where [00:34:00] these things are not doable.
But the, when you do have the good systems and routines in place, it makes it, so when you have a hiccup or something unexpected happen, then it's easier for people to fill in the gaps because they know what needs to be done. It's easy for you to explain what has to happen because the rest of the family still has to function and you do still have responsibilities, but always take care of yourself.
Sleep is. Amen. Um, one final question that I love to ask every guest is around just some encouragement, some tough love. So tough love is defined as love expressed in a straightforward manner. Just not beating around the Bush because you care about someone's wellbeing. Like you're just straight to the point.
So with that in mind, what's one thing you want to leave these moms with like one little last bit of tough love. You want to leave the listener with. Oh, goodness. [00:35:00] I think kind of just what we just talked about, where don't be too hard on yourself. Anything is possible. There is resources and help out there for anything that you can possibly want to do or feel like you need to do in terms of what I do with decluttering and organizing and helping people create a system.
Those things do change your life. But like I have said, a couple of times, give yourself grace, the stages of your life changes quickly. The ages of your kids change so fast and. All of these things that I think are important with the decluttering organizing simplification, that's all important because it allows you to have more time to spend with the people that matter most to you doing the things that you want to be doing.
So take chances and. Go for whatever you think is important and the resources are out [00:36:00] there for amen. They so are. So where can everyone, they love this conversation. Want to learn more? I know for me personally, just like in the total transparent moment to my listeners now, like I'm in the thick of figuring this stuff out.
I'm almost two years postpartum from my second son. And, um, I'm just starting to like, okay, how consistently, like how many days in a row or how, what kind of gaps can I put between doing laundry and how can I keep clutter out of my house? And what's our nighttime routine to keep the house picked up. So when I wake up at 5, 5 30 in the morning, I'm not coming out to this messy house.
I'm just starting to figure this stuff out. So I love that that last encouragement you gave was to give yourself time and to figure this out and grace along the way, because just like anything else, just like your postpartum journey. It's. And that means. It's a path that you're taking and there really isn't going to be an end point.
It's just like a constant figuring it out and pivoting as things change. So I really, I appreciate that honesty and the tough love you [00:37:00] shared because it can, it can seem like it should be this turnaround. Oh. And I just haven't figured out when really it's not, it's not that way. Um, so if everyone loved what you shared today, where can they find you and follow you and just learn everything about decluttering and simplicity and routines and systems for their life.
My podcast is called the intentional edit podcast. And I am pretty much on all social platforms as intentional edits. I have a Facebook group that they can join too, but it's probably the easiest to contact me. If they have specific questions on Instagram at intentional. And check out my podcast for more of this kind of information.
Yeah. It's so good. I'm a listener. So you will learn so much. Thank you so much for coming on today. Lauren. I loved our conversation. Thank you for having me. I can't wait to have you on my podcast. It'll be so fun. I hope you feel so equipped and so encouraged right now. And not [00:38:00] only. What you can take on and do, and how to start dealing with the clutter that you see, so it can help your mental stress and how you can create some simple systems and routines to deal with the mess that we might see in our house right now.
But I hope you're also encouraged in. This is not going to be an overnight change. It's not going to be this process that you just fall into and it works out just like your post partum journey. Like we say, here, drop the timeline, right? Drop the expectations. Stop, expecting yourself to show up in this perfect way.
Immediately. Once you've learned something, because that's just not real. And we know it's going to let us down and leave us disappointed. And yes, it's important to see things that way with our health and fitness. And it's also important to see things that way with our organization and our ability to deal with and take care of the clutter and our.
So, if you learn something from Lauren in this episode today, please [00:39:00] let her know, go shoot her a message over an Instagram, or simply screenshot this episode and tag both of us in your Instagram stories. So we know how you were impacted today and how you, you get that accountability, how you're going to implement what you took away.
And so you can start taking care of that clutter and continue to deal and cope with your stress in an awesome, sustainable way. Go get after it. Before you go, thank you for spending this time with me on the tough love mom podcast. If this episode encouraged you in any way, the number one way you can thank me is to leave her a review.
Letting me know how the show has impacted you. Then send this episode to another mom friend or. Take a screenshot posted on social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me on this journey to impact thousands of moms. I'm so grateful to be on this journey with you sister until next time.
Get after it.
