Complacency Culture: What It Is, Why It’s Toxic, and What You Can Do About It
What is complacency culture?
Definition: self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies
In other words: apathetic or feeling like you don't have to do anything about your situation
Examples of complacency:
Lack of investment in yourself or others.
Loss of passion for your work.
Disinterest in other opportunities.
Less thinking before action.
Why it's toxic —
There's no such thing as staying the same — you ONLY either move forward or backward.
I consider it a drift — you don't realize it's happening, but it is and it's ruining you.
When messaging makes it okay and justifies this way of thinking, it becomes what you believe to be true.
You start to believe that it's okay to "just be this way" and not have a desire to change or make progress.
What you can do about it —
Let's address each of the examples of complacency…
Lack of investment in yourself or others: make time for yourself, be mentally present time with others
Loss of passion for what you do: revisit WHY you're doing what you do
Disinterest in other opportunities: get out of your comfort zone
Less thinking before action: use breath, think, decide to be intentional about everything you do
Next step: Recognize one area you've gotten complacent in and do something about it!
Mentioned in this episode –
99 | TOUGH LOVE TIP: There is NO Place for Apathy in Your Journey
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FULL TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] One of the most dangerous things you can be when it comes to your health is complacent. And unfortunately there's a lot out there that can cause you to become complacent. So let's tackle this today. Let's tackle this topic. What is complacency culture? Why is it toxic and what can you do about it? What can you be proactive about?
So it doesn't run your life.
Hey, mama. Welcome to the tough love mom podcast. I know you're here because you're ready to get consistent and finally lose that weight. And you're not afraid of a little tough love, you know, what to do to lose weight. But following through on those things feels impossible. You wish you could just feel like you're strong, confident self again, and want to be good example for your little ones, but you get thrown off by mom guilt and the unpredictability of motherhood.
It's frustrat. Taking on your journey. Postpartum is hard, but it's not impossible. Hey, I'm Liz and I've been where you are. I gained a lot of weight [00:01:00] in my pregnancies, 90 pounds, and then 60 pounds. I needed to lose that weight to take control of my health. And honestly just wanted to feel like myself again with a sustainable approach to weight loss.
Simple consistency in working on my mindset. I lost it all in just over a year, both times. And I'm here to help you do the same. I believe that we have an ingrained ability to figure out what we need to do, make it happen and do it in a way that AWS the world, if you're ready to stop falling off the wagon, create solid routine and healthy habits and finally feel your best inside and out all while enjoying D nuggets on your salad, you are in the right place.
We're about to transform your journey. My. Get pumped up. It is tough love time
before we dive too deep into this topic and start tackling the mindset piece and the resilience piece of, you know, battling complacency. I wanna remind you that you don't have to do this alone. You don't have to figure out how to change your habits. You don't have to figure [00:02:00] out what to do first and what comes next in your journey.
By yourself. That's my job. That's what I do. That's how this podcast is supported, is starting point sessions. And I wanna make sure that you know, that if you're in a place where you're lost or confused or frustrated, because you feel like there's more that you can do. But you're on that verge of, I feel like giving up because I'm frustrated, you know, that complacency is starting to nudge in and you're like, no, I don't want it, but you're right there.
Right on the ledge. We're going. I don't know if I should just give up or if there's something else I can do, that's my job to help you figure out what's next. How do we keep it simple? How do we keep your journey sustainable? So change actually last, you're not on this roller coaster. I'm not here for any roller coasters and I'm not here for the 180 change either.
I don't want you going from zero to a hundred. In your journey because you're gonna fall off. When you do that, I'm gonna help you come up with a plan in our starting point sessions, we figure out exactly that your starting point, where do you start and what steps come next. So you can book one, one off call.
If you just need a quick refresher, a quick, where do I go from here? How do I [00:03:00] start Liz, help me kick this off. Or if you wanna book a package of. Three calls. You can do that. And we can come up with a plan over the course of a couple months. So you actually make real change in your journey. So you can go to the tough love mom.com/coaching.
All the info is there. You can book your sessions there and I can't wait to see you on there. So complacency doesn't take root in your life. Now, what is complacency? The definition of it is self-satisfaction, especially when accompanied by unaware of actual dangers or deficiencies. Now that's kind of like a heavy.
definition, in my opinion, it's a little, some big words in there. You know, we use the word danger and deficiencies and unaware. It's like, Ooh, it's kind of like a heavy definition, but in other words, if you were to define complacency a little more simply it's apathy. It's being apathetic. And I actually talked about this a few weeks ago in a tough love tip Tuesday episode.
It was episode 99. If you wanna go back and listen to it, but complacency apathy, however you wanna [00:04:00] call it. It's being in a place where you just. Stay still you're sitting there going, you know, it's good enough. I think that would be the, the best phrase to kind of define complacency is good enough. You know, I don't need to do this.
I don't wanna do that. I don't feel like it. This is good enough. I'll settle. That's kind of what comes to mind when I think of being apathetic again, episode 99, dives, a little more into that. Cause I think it's a nuance topic. There's definitely some stuff that comes along with apathy. That can be serious, but when it comes to complacency, um, it's definitely something.
Your mind is just going, I'll settle. I will settle. And that's dangerous. That's a dangerous place to be in. And in this definition it talks about being accompanied by awareness. And I think some of it is awareness too, cuz we kind of know when we're settling. I think we can recognize that. But again, in some it's being pleased in feeling like you don't have to do anything about your situation.
It's good enough where it is. So it might sound. Especially for moms. Mom, [00:05:00] life is hard. Be easy on yourself, or, you know, life is really hard right now. I'm just gonna go easy on myself. It's all good. Or my kids are crazy and their schedules are insane. So I'll start making changes when life slows down, because I just can't right now or I birth the baby, my body isn't the same.
So why would I try to change? Why would I try. Get healthier or get stronger. Uh, those are just some little examples of what it might sound like, whether it's coming from outside sources or within yourself. And some examples, some like tangible examples of complacency are having a lack of investment in yourself or others.
So. you're not investing time or finances or whatnot in things that are good for you or good for others. Like your family, whether that is healthy food time spent exercising and moving your body, uh, prioritizing how you spend your time. So you're not just sitting on the couch all day, scrolling or watching TV, which I know you don't sit on the couch all day.
Cause you're a mom. I know you're on your feet a lot. Like my apple watch. I told my husband one time. [00:06:00] It was once, once Roy was a toddler. And I think, I think when we. Two. I mean, once I became a mom and had an apple watch, it was a few years into motherhood. I was like, whoa, I'm like not leaving the house.
And I'm walking three miles a day. He was like, no way. And I'm like, I'm serious. That's my watch says, I know you're not on the couch all day, but an example is not having that investment in yourself, whether it's time, money. Mental energy, uh, or others, loss of passion for your work. So when Mo motherhood starts to feel really mundane when you're just not enthusiastic about your journey and not like you're gonna be excited to show up and work out every day, I'll be honest, the past couple weeks, I'm kind of like, Ugh, again, when it comes to my workouts in the morning, but I know it's, what's good for me.
I know if I don't do it, I'll really regret it versus that kind of regretful feeling of, I wish I could just sleep right now, staying in bed. Right. So having. Kind of sustained loss of passion for your work or what you put your time towards, even if it's not a job, you know, motherhood, whatever it is, um, [00:07:00] disinterest in other opportunities or promotions, this was like an example I found on Google.
wouldn't be nice if we could get promotions as moms I guess we do when we have second, third worth kids. Right. But just having disinterests and things that come up, social events out. you know, getting to, I don't know, do something fun with other moms. I don't know, disinterest in general or less think this one really hit home.
A really big example of complacency. And I think this you'll be like, oh yeah, mm-hmm, less thinking before. Action. So taking it back to episode last week with Kaen reacting instead of respond. Just kind of going with what your gut says, going with your emotions, going with how you feel versus making an intentional choice.
So why , I mean, you can kind of kind of already guess, but why is all this toxic? Why does all of this have a negative impact on you and on your journey? There's no such thing as staying the same when it comes to being complacent. So when I [00:08:00] picture I'm a very visual person. So when I like hear a word, I kind of picture something in my head.
And when I hear complacency, I. Picture this stillness, like you're still in one place, not moving forward or backward, but there's no such thing as that. There's no such thing as like I'm just stuck in this one place. No, if you really feel stuck, you're actually regressing. You're moving backwards. We're either growing or we're dying and I know that's drastic, but we're either moving forward or we're moving backward.
There's no, in between. There is no sitting still. So when you're being complacent, you're actually regress. I consider it a drift. Like, you know, if you just put something into a lake, there's a bit of a tide and it's going to move with that. You don't realize it's happening. Like say you go out in a canoe in the middle of the lake.
I don't know why, but say you do you and you stop paddling. You just sit there. You're not gonna realize that you're being drifted to one side of the lake or to the middle or wherever. You're not gonna realize that [00:09:00] it's happening. Cause it's so small. The shifts are so small, but it. And when you feel like you're complacent and just stuck in one place when you're actually regressing, it's ruining you, you're taking steps backwards in your journey.
And when messaging out there in the world, that's coming from external sources into your ears, into your eyes, makes it okay. And honestly, a lot of mom culture justifies it, justifies this complacency, justifies the struggle. They're not wrong. It's hard, but it doesn't have to be the first thing we think of it doesn't have to be the way we live our lives as moms, when you constantly are taking that in, it becomes what you believe to be true about your life, about your journey, about how you're supposed to show up about how your mindset's supposed to be, that it's okay to just be this way and not have any desire to change, to progress.
So it's toxic. I mean, when you start latching on to complacent messages and. People that are putting that out there. It's [00:10:00] ruining you. I'm gonna be off my soapbox now, but I hope you hear my conviction in that. It just it's, it's out there and it is not good. It's not good for you. And you're important, but the way you show up is how your kids learn to show up when they become adults, when they become teenagers, when they can start making decisions on their.
so it's important to them too. So what can you do about it? Cause I'm not gonna leave you with that. Like, oh, that heavy message of, okay, I'm convicted now, what can you do about it? What are some actual practical steps that you can take? So you don't get stuck in that place of complacency? Yes. Are we gonna have moments where we feel a little complacent?
Are we gonna have moments where it's hard where you take a couple steps back? Yes. That it's called being human. It is so, so, so normal. To have a couple steps forward and a couple steps back, and maybe it's like two steps forward, two steps back, two steps forward, two steps back for like three weeks. Okay.
That's life. But if you keep doing that and then you're like, oh, I'm gonna justify [00:11:00] X, Y, Z. And let it impact my journey negatively. Cause it's fine. It's whatever. Whatever, you know, if you start doing that, letting that complacency, and it's gonna be two steps forward, three steps back, two steps forward, four steps back.
And that's, that's how it happens again, that drift without us even noticing it. So let's go back to the examples I gave of complacency. First one lack of investment in yourself or others. Okay. This looks like taking time for yourself. So maybe you need. Cut out the scrolling for a little bit and go to bed a little earlier.
So you can get up a little earlier and have 10 minutes, 30 minutes, whatever to yourself in the morning. So you can move your body or just have some silence, whatever it is, maybe it's time for yourself in the day to go for a workout, go for a walk, go for a run, move your body with your kids. Um, on the weekends, be like, Hey, I'm gonna go take the afternoon to myself because I need to recharge.
That's something I've had to learn how to do, communicate with my husband. because I have that need I [00:12:00] need, I need those breaks. I need those times by myself where I can, you know, simply go get groceries alone. I know people are like, that's not self care, but it really is. It really is. So take time, invest time for yourself and invest time in others.
I think the biggest way you can do this is to be present. Put your phone down, leave it in another room. You know, turn the TV off, have dinner with your family. Have dinner with your family. Cook dinner. Have a dinner at the table, instead of buying fast food, be present with the people in your life. That's a simple, these are simple ways to invest in yourself and others.
And y'all lot of this is free so yeah, I did say invest time, money, you know, invest your mental energy, but the most fruit comes from when you're investing your time and your mental energy in yourself and other people, the money is. Is it tertiary is that third big word, pat myself on the back there but invest in yourself, invest in others.
Loss of passion for what you do. I want you to revisit why you're [00:13:00] doing what you do. Whether it's. And this is like, I'm speaking in generic terms here as a mom. If you have a job outside of the home, revisit why you're doing what you do, why do you wanna work out? Why do you wanna eat healthier? Revisit that?
And I know it's tacky. Like find your why, man, that kind of stuff. I, I feel goofy saying that, but truly revisit why you're doing this the deep down reasons. Not because you wanna lose a few pounds, not because you wanna be confident in your body. Why do you wanna do it for your kids? Why do you wanna do it for your long term?
Why do you wanna do it? So you can be around to see your great grandkids, God, God willing, that will reinvigorate a lot of passion for doing what you wanna do. And passion doesn't look like excitement. All the time. Passion looks like conviction. Passion looks like I don't feel like doing this right now, but I'm gonna follow through.
Anyways. We get that confused all the time. That passion is supposed to be this enthusiasm and this excitement and this joy and this energy around doing what we wanna do when ultimately passion just means. passion means you're convicted. You are [00:14:00] committed. You are going to follow through no matter what, think of a passionate.
they have like fire in their eyes, daggers. They're gonna do whatever it takes to win. I want you to be passionate about what you do, not because it brings you joy all the time, but because you have a conviction about you to follow through. Mm. So revisit why you're doing what you do that will bring up that conviction, that passion, if you find yourself having disinterest and other opportunities, whether that means like going out with some other moms or changing up your routine.
I don't know, just things that would bring more variety and spice to your life. Get yourself outta your comfort zone and just do it. You have to just rip off the band-aid and do those things sometimes get outta your comfort zone. And those things become a little bit easier. . And then the biggest one that I think can be this underlying current that just makes this drift of complacency happen is not thinking before acting.
So this is a huge one, a huge one. And in a couple weeks, I have an episode coming up about mindless eating [00:15:00] specifically, cuz I think this really applies to it. But in all things, whether it's when your alarm goes off in the morning or you've got a couple things on your to-do list, you keep putting off and you just need to do them.
Or if it's around food, And you're doing less thinking before acting you're reacting instead of responding. I want you to breathe literally like stop yourself and take a breath. Think logically for a hot second. Be like, okay, I know I need to do this. and I want you to logically think, do I have the time right now?
Is it gonna take, as long as I think it's gonna take, what will it take? What are the steps I need to do to finish through like follow through on this and then decide, can I do that right now? Or can I realistically not do it? That way you're not being emotional about your decision making, you are being intentional about your decision making breathe, think, decide cool.
Those are the things you can do to fight back on complacency. It is not something that needs to run your life. So I want you to recognize [00:16:00] one area in your life, and I'm, I'm talking about your journey mostly here, but it can be in other areas too. Recognize one area that you've gotten complacent in and do something.
Do something about it, maybe you need to start doing the breathe. Think side being more intentional instead of reactive. Maybe you need to get outta your comfort zone. Maybe you need to look at your time and how you're spending it or your mental. And reprioritize. So you can invest more in yourself and in others, or maybe you need to revisit why you're doing what you do and reinvigorate that passion and conviction, whatever it is.
We're all for. Don't overload yourself though. Don't don't be go bigger. Go home. Just pick one and do something about it. Follow through, make a slight change. It's in those small slight changes that you make a big difference over. Okay. In starting point sessions, we go over a lot of this because again, complacency can become pervasive without you even realizing it.
And the way starting point sessions are structured, we do deal with a lot of the, okay, what are [00:17:00] realistically your circumstances right now? What is the change you wanna make and how can we intentionally and logistically and realistically change one area. So it can. This waterfall effect, it can start impacting other areas of your journey and making change in those other areas easier because you started with one starting point.
And you got consistent with it and you got disciplined, starting point sessions, fight back on all these things that complacency can cause by simply picking one thing at a time, getting accountability from me and following through. So go book yours at the tough of mom.com. I want you to fight back in complacency every day, cuz it's not just about us.
It's about our kids and it's about our kids' kids and the ones after that because we are the ones setting the stage. Setting the foundation for future generations in our health. So let's do something about it. Okay. Go get after it before you go. Thank you for spending this time with me on the tough love mom podcast.
If this [00:18:00] episode encouraged you in any way, the number one way you can thank me is to leave a review, letting me know how the show has impacted you. Send this episode to another mom friend, or take a screenshot, post it on social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me on this journey to impact thousands of moms.
I'm so grateful to be on this journey with your sister until next time. Get after it.
