"Eating Healthier" And "Working Out Consistently" Are the WRONG Goals
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Do you have goals in your journey of losing a certain number of pounds, eating healthier, or working out more consistently?
While those are amazing things to FOCUS ON and envision for your life...they are not great for goals. And if you're framing your GOALS in your mind the wrong way, you're only going to end up frustrated. EEK!
In this episode you're going to learn WHY those are the wrong goals to focus on and WAHT to actually be focusing on instead!
A few months back, Casey asked me what my goals currently were and… I was stumped.
I didn't have any pounds to lose, I was already consistent, eating well, and actually a few weeks into 75 Hard. I ended up giving him broad vision for my health in the coming months — things like improving my athleticism, endurance, mobility, and strength — but looking back now, even THAT wasn't a great answer.
It was a VISION not a GOAL.
The same goes for things like eating healthier and working out more consistently.
Goals are tangible, things you can basically check off “done.” You know the steps to get there and you can make a PLAN.
So what is a goal to work towards?
Nutrition
Intentional Snacking at Night
Intentional Snacking Mid-Morning
Intentional Snacking Mid-Afternoon
Eating Breakfast
Structured Lunch
Dinners Together
Fitness
Set Number of Workouts per Week
Consistent Time of Day for Workouts
Completing a Workout Program
These are all tangible PIECES of your journey that contribute to your overall VISION.
Another word for these things are STARTING POINTS.
A Starting Point is ONE simple action you tackle and make HABIT to create that overall lifestyle or feeling you envision for yourself.
Once you determine what yours needs to be YOU MAKE A PLAN.
These can be attacked in doable, actionable steps and then MASTERED.
So pick ONE of the things listed above so you can tackle your journey ONE GOAL AT A TIME — doing it the right way, the sustainable way, the confidence building way!
Are you ready to go from overwhelmed and stuck to disciplined and consistent in your journey?
Book your Starting Point Session and let's get you on track to your healthiest life!
FULL TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] When I ask moms what their goals are in their journey. I often get something along the lines of losing X number of pounds, eating healthier, working out more consistently. And while those are amazing focuses to have, they're not great for goals. They're just not so great for goals. And if we're framing our.
Goals in our minds in the wrong way. You're only gonna end up frustrated. So let's talk about that today. Why are those the wrong goals to focus on and what should you actually be focusing on instead? You ready? Let's go. Hey mama. Welcome to the tough love mom podcast. I know you're here because you're ready to get consistent and finally lose that weight.
And you're not afraid of a little tough love, you know, what to do to lose weight. Following through on those things feels impossible. You wish you could just feel like you're strong, confident self again, and want to be a good example for your little ones, but you get thrown off by mom guilt and the unpredictability of [00:01:00] motherhood.
It's frustrating taking on your journey. Postpartum is hard, but it's not impossible. Hey, I'm Liz. And I've been where you are. I gained a lot of weight in my pregnancies, 90 pounds, and then 60 pounds. I needed to lose that weight to take control of my health. And honestly just wanted to feel like myself again with a sustainable approach to weight loss, simple consistency in working on my mindset.
I lost it all in just over a year. Both. And I'm here to help you do the same. I believe that we have an ingrained ability to figure out what we need to do, make it happen and do it in a way that AWS the world, if you're ready to stop falling off the wagon, create solid routine and healthy habits and finally feel your best inside and out.
All while enjoying din nuggets on your salad, you are in the right place. We're about to transform your journey. My friend get pumped up. It is tough. Love time. So Liz, if those are the wrong goals, what the heck do I do? Where do I start? Or what am I supposed to focus [00:02:00] on? Right. Is your mind going there? Is it going to those places and asking those questions?
Because if it is it's okay. Casey and I had this conversation. A few months ago, he asked me what goals I currently had and I was stumped in the moment. I was like, Hmm. Well, that's a great question because I honestly have no idea. I didn't have any pounds to lose. I was already consistent. I was eating well.
I believe I was a few weeks into one of the phases of 75 slash live hard. So I was really consistent. I was doing all the right habits, all the right things. I felt really good. I didn't really have anything I was working towards. And so that question totally stumped me when he asked, what are you like?
Goals do you have right now? I was like, well, I don't know. So I had to sit with that for a few hours and really think about it. And I ended up giving him this broad vision for my health in the coming coming months. It was a very generic statement, basically along the lines of improving my athleticism, my agility, my mobility, and my [00:03:00] strength.
Just making small progress in each of those areas. But even that looking back now, wasn't a great goal to have. So why wasn't that a great goal to have? And why are things like eating healthier, being more consistent with your workouts? Why are those not great goals either? It's because it's a vision. Not a goal.
These are all things. What I told Casey in that moment when we had that conversation. And when I hear mom say, I wanna just eat healthier or I wanna be more consistent. That's my goal. When those are the goals that we set, what we're actually thinking of is what we envision for, how we show up. We're thinking about how we wanna feel, how we want our life to look how we want our habits to be.
And that it's great. It is great to envision that it is great to know what that looks like. I'm not saying you. Aim towards those things, but goals are things that are tangible, basically think, think of along the lines of being able to check the box you're you did that. You accomplished it. It's done.
[00:04:00] That's what a goal is. It's tangible. You can measure it, you can work towards it. And again, check off that box when you complete. You know, the steps to get there. When you have a goal set, you can break down the steps to actually make it happen. You can make a plan. So what are some good goals to work towards?
Like I said, wanting to be more consistent, wanting to eat healthier or someone like me who's goal in that moment, which I'm not gonna call it a goal now, but my vision for what I wanted was to just increase my strength and my agility and my mobility. You know, over time , which is so generic saying it now, I'm like, oh, that sounds so silly.
But those were what we envisioned and we should still have that. Those are still important foundations to work from, because if you don't know how you wanna feel and how you wanna be showing up, if you can't picture that in your head, You are gonna be aiming all over the place left and right. Trying this diet, trying that workout program.
And so, again, it's not a bad thing to have that it's just not a goal to work towards, cuz you're gonna get disappointed and frustrated when you [00:05:00] don't quote, hit that because it's this ever moving target. Right. So what is a good goal to work towards let's first talk about nutrition. Usually usually goals within our journey fall into nutrition or fitness and.
You know, also also weight loss, because actually hitting a tangible number can be a goal. You can consider that a goal. You just can't really control the timeline. You really can't control the timeline. You can't necessarily control outside factors like travel and the time of the month and how your body fluctuates throughout the month.
So just taking that into account, but we're for a sake of time and for sake of simplicity, because we're about that, here is simplicity. We're gonna talk about Nutri. And fitness and what are some good goals to work towards? So first in the nutrition arena, things like intentionally snacking. So being more mentally present when you're going to snack, breaking it down to nighttime, after the kids go to bed.
That's one goal focusing on intentional snacking mid-morning between breakfast and [00:06:00] lunch. And then again, mid-afternoon between lunch and dinner. Those are three separate goals you can work towards because what triggers you to emotionally eat stress, eat what triggers you to walk over to the pantry, even when you're not hungry are gonna be different at those different times of day.
So you wanna tackle those. In specific steps with a plan at different times of day and, and really create new habits and new lines of thought around each of those events. Uh, you've also got maybe, maybe you've got this habit of eating your kids' food. If they don't finish everything on their plate, which is totally fine.
Moms do that all over the world. But if that's something you wanna stop doing, because maybe it is adding in all these extra calories you really don't need or want, but you're doing it anyways, cuz it's habit. That can be a goal to work towards, to stop doing that same thing with maybe you don't eat breakfast and maybe you get super, super hungry by lunchtime because you're just not eating breakfast, you know, with the way your day is and the way it would just be good for you to eat breakfast.
Maybe that's a goal you wanna work towards is eating a [00:07:00] healthy, wholesome, balanced breakfast every single morning. That you need, you need a plan for that. You need steps. You need to have ideas for recipes. You can break that down and work towards it and make it a habit. Same thing with having a structured lunch or eating dinners together as a family, these are all goals you can work towards.
And again, they can become tangible by saying, okay, I'm gonna eat breakfast every weekday. And on weekends, I'll be a little more relaxed, same thing with dinners together. I've had a lot of starting point session clients. Have that be their starting point is eating dinners and meals together as a family.
And they'll start off with doing four nights a week. And then the other three, they can order pizza if they want, they can do leftovers and they can do a free for all. Uh, that's honestly how we do it every single week. It's usually four dinners that I cook and the rest is kind of whatever we make work.
So again, Dinners together. If you aim for a certain number, then it becomes a tangible goal that you can work towards and you can create a plan for you can create steps to make that happen consistently in your life. And continue to build upon [00:08:00] that. Now let's shift over into the fitness realm. These are a little more.
Easy to make tangible in your mind when it comes to goal setting, but let's say so, instead of saying, I wanna get more consistent with my workouts. You say, okay, I'm not working out at all right now. I wanna feel, you know, long point down the road. What I envision is I'm really consistent. I'm like working out five or six days a week.
I make time for it. It's just part of who I am. Okay. There's a long distance between here and there. So that's a great thing to envision, but it's not necessarily a goal to work towards. Right. Cuz it's not tangible. So. A good point to start at a good starting point or a good goal to set at first would be okay.
I'm gonna work out three days a week, say saying, this is a set number of workouts I'm gonna do per week. And you can build on that. So you make three, a habit and then you build on a fourth and then you build on a fifth, a few weeks later. another goal that you could set is having a consistent time of day for your workouts.
So I've shifted this throughout all the various seasons of my life [00:09:00] as a mom, but you could say, okay, I'm gonna do it at 6:00 AM every single day. And when season shift or when I need to change my schedule, I'll figure out a new one, but picking a time of day that you can stay consistent with maybe four or five, six days a.
That is another goal you can work towards, cuz you can create a plan. You can create a schedule and the steps to make that happen. And the last one that just came to mind as an example of an actual goal, you can set with. That can actually make it happen is completing whatever workout program that you decide to do.
And that can be made into a goal by saying, okay, this is when I'm gonna start. This is the data I plan to finish. These are the days I'm gonna do these workouts and you plug it into your schedule and you just do it. Okay. So these are all tangible pieces of your journey. All these things I just gave examples of they're all tangible pieces that contribute to that overall vision that you have eating.
He. Right. If you wanna eat [00:10:00] healthier, you're probably when you're at that point that you envision for yourself. You're probably being very mindful when you snack all throughout the day, you're probably eating a consistent breakfast and eating meals together. Lunch, maybe lunches, definitely dinners together as a family.
You're not just going through drive throughs and eating whatever's in the fridge or eating off your kid's plate. Right. You're being really intentional around your nutrition, but you have to tackle one of those things at a time, make them your goal own it. You know, rock that goal and then move on to the next thing.
Same with fitness. You wanna be consistent. Okay. How, where do you start? What does that look like? These are all tangible pieces of your journey. That again, contribute to that overall vision that you have. That is a little, not so tangible. So another word for these, and I already used it once, but another word for these mini goals that contribute to that overall vision are called starting points.
Starting point is simply one simple action that you tackle to make it a [00:11:00] habit. So you can create that overall lifestyle or feeling that you envision for yourself. Once you determine what your starting point is, then you need to make a plan. These can be attacked. All of these starting points can be attacked in doable, actionable steps, and then mastered.
Sometimes the steps are one offs. They're things like, okay, I just need to brainstorm a bunch of meal ideas. You just do that once. And you work from there. And then consistently, maybe on a weekly basis, you're planning out dinners doing the shopping in the meal, prep for dinner that night, whatever it is, all of these things are actually tangible goals you can work towards and they.
actionable steps that you can take to make that goal reality. And it's a beautiful thing to see in action. So beautiful because you go from this point of saying, I know exactly where I wanna be way down the road, but I know that's not a goal cause I've listened to this episode. Now I know that's not a goal to work towards because from here to there is a really long way and there are steps.
There are, [00:12:00] there's a starting point. And then there are stepping stones along the way to get me there. I just need to take 'em on one at a time. And when you can identify that first starting point, cuz we can get kind of overwhelmed, right? Like when. Have this far way to go. I think about this, this happens to me a lot, to be honest with the podcast and my business.
But when I think about all the things I envision for the tough love mom co, and this podcast, I get kind of overwhelmed sometimes because there's so many steps in between here and there and so much. That just needs to be done. And so I have to turn my brain off and say, okay, that's great that I have that vision for this whole thing, but I need to scale it back for a second here and say, what's my next step.
What is my starting point for that? And how can I be not just obedient to what God wants me to do in this next step, but also patient. And I think we can get really impatient in our weight loss journeys, cuz we just wanna feel better. We just wanna be confident right now when really that's built over time and it's built by taking it [00:13:00] one step at a time.
So when you can figure out your starting point and then make a plan to master it, make a plan to actually make that a habit instead of just slapping a bandaid on and say here's some recipes that are healthy. I wanna make these for breakfast every day. Last, a couple weeks. Then you fall off and you're not eating breakfast anymore, or you fall off and you're going back to Poptarts, whatever it is that you want to change, you do have to be patient.
You do have to take it literally one step at a time. And I know you're like, I know that Liz, but you actually do it. Do you actually do it? Because when you do that is. When you get to see real change happen in your life. So of those things I listed today, I want you to pick one. I want you to pick one, whether it's from nutrition or fitness, I'm gonna list them out again for you real quick.
So you get that refresher. Is it intentional snacking at nighttime, intentional snacking. Midafternoon not eating the kids' food off of their plate when they're done with their [00:14:00] meal. Eating a consistent breakfast, having a structured lunch or eating dinners together as a family. Those are all the ones that fall under nutrition that are great starting points.
Now, when it comes to fitness, having a set number of workouts per week, you pick the number, having a consistent time of day for your workouts. You pick the time of day or completing a workout program of your choice. Those are some options for your fitness, the fitness side of your. now what I want you to do.
You picked one of those to start with and you, you really can't go wrong with. Picking your starting point, cuz it's simply that you're like, oh, but I wanna do all those. You will. I promise. But if you try to do 'em all at once, you will fall off. I can guarantee that it happens to all of us when we try to take on too much, something ends up falling off the plate.
Something ends up getting ignored, getting dropped. So we have to take it one thing at a time because our plates are already. Full. So pick one of those, just one. And if you need [00:15:00] help, like I said, it can be hard to pick which one to start with. And that's what we dig into on starting point sessions, because we really dig into what you're struggling with.
Most what's holding you back most, you just dish it all out. We're super transparent. It is a judgment free zone for literally like the first 20 minutes of your 45 minute call with me. We hash out everything that's going on. What's a struggle. What's the toughest thing. And from there we pick your starting point, cuz usually when you can tackle that big, bad struggle point, that is just holding you back.
When you can tackle that first one, everything else just starts to snowball into place and feel better. And you can start taking on those next, stepping. The things, maybe you maybe you're like, yeah, it's really, after the kids go to bed, that's my biggest struggle point, but I also know mid-morning I get really snacky and I also wanna do that too.
If you try to do both of those at the same time that mindless, snacking, stress, eating, whatever it is. is being caused by different things at those [00:16:00] different times of day. So if you try to tackle them both at the same time, the change is not going to stick as much as if you just did the nighttime snacking first and then eventually transfer those skills and habits because that's become a habit.
Now it's become second nature into your mid-morning snacking time. That's when the snowball starts to roll down the hill real fast and you make real change and it really sticks. So again, you can't go wrong, but if you. Help figuring out. Okay. Which one is my biggest issue? That's what we do on starting point sessions.
The link for it's below. I think it's just the tough love mom.com/coaching. So you can go there, but once you pick yours and again, you cannot pick a wrong starting point. You just gotta pick one. I want you to head over the, to the tough love mom squad, join and answer a few questions. If you're not in there yet, those questions just help me continue to serve you better.
So please answer those. Once you're in there, once you're in the group share what you think your starting point is. There's a post up for it today just to get some accountability. Cause when you actually speak it aloud [00:17:00] or type it in the sense when you actually put it out there, you're more likely to follow through.
And that's what that group is for it's for accountability. It is for you to do the homework from these episodes. So you can actually implement what you're learning. I love being in your ears. I personally love podcasts myself. And so I love that you're here listening, but I want you to take action on it.
I want you to do something about what you're hearing. I don't want you to just hear it and be like, yay. That's awesome. Then never do anything. So go in there and share what your starting point is gonna be. Okay that week you're speaking in aloud, you're getting some accountability and you can actually start following through bonus, share what your plan is, share what your steps are gonna be to making that happen.
I'm excited to see how you're gonna tackle your journey and what you envision for your life. One goal at a time. One starting point in stepping stone at a time, doing it the right way, the sustainable way in the confidence building way. I'll see you in there before you go. Thank you for spending this time with me on the tough love mom podcast.
[00:18:00] If this episode encouraged you in any way, the number one way you can thank me is to leave a review. Letting me know how the show has impacted you. Then send this episode to another mom friend or. Take a screenshot, post it on social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me on this journey to impact thousands of moms.
I'm so grateful to be on this journey with your sister until next time. Get after it.
