Are One of These 3 Weight Loss MYTHS Keeping You Stuck and Frustrated? Holistic Health and Fitness Expert, Michele Scarlet, Gives You the Answer
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Are you believing any of these common MYTHS around weight loss? Us mamas grew up in a time when what was deemed "healthy" was misleading and, to this day, it can still influence our beliefs and choices on our journey AND about ourselves. (With that being said, I do want to let you know some possibly triggering things around food and "skinniness" are discussed, so if that might cause unwanted distress, listen another time! xo)
Michele Scarlet is a Holistic Health Practitioner and Fitness Expert on a mission to help women feel great inside and out. She resides in Toronto, Canada with her husband and helps women with their health through her virtual studio.
So it's time to bust some myths and take control of our thoughts. In this episode, Michele addresses the most common myths women struggle with when it comes to weight loss, teaches how to simplify nutrition and shift your mindset when it comes to your journey, and encourages you with tangible advice on how to take control of your thoughts. Time to get equipped, mama!
In this episode, Michele talks about the following:
Her personal health journey
What holistic health is and what holistic health practitioners help with
Intermittent fasting for weight loss
Cutting out food groups for weight loss
Using fat/weight loss supplements
How women can shift their mindset from "living healthy is hard/restrictive" to it being just who they are
How to move forward with confidence in your journey
Are you ready to go from overwhelmed and stuck to disciplined and consistent in your journey?
Book your Starting Point Session and let's get you on track to your healthiest life!
FULL TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Are you believing some of these common myths around weight loss? To be totally honest, we grew up in a time when. What was presented to us on the media and magazines was just not realistic. And it definitely set a standard in our brains of what healthy is, what it takes to get there. And actively, I know you, I know I have had to work to break down those beliefs over time as we've grown, as we've become moms.
And it's hard. It's definitely difficult. And there are some myths that are still pervasive out there in some lines of thinking that can trip us up and our journey. And I am bringing to you today, someone who's going to address those things. So you can make your choices in your journey and your mindset and everything.
More simple. So today you get to hear from holistic health practitioner and fitness expert, Michelle Scarlet, she is on a mission to help women just feel great inside and out to get to the root of issues, really tire mindset into everything. [00:01:00] So we are diving into all of that. Today. We're going to bust some myths and take control of our thoughts.
We get to hear about. What the most common myths are that women struggle with when it comes to weight loss, you are going to learn how to simplify your nutrition and shift your mindset when it comes to your journey. And Michelle is going to leave you with some encouragement and tangible advice on how to take control of your thoughts.
It's time to get equipped mama at this episode is going to bless you. It's going to help bust some of those myths that have been holding you back. So let's go get a Quip. Let's get after it.
Pay mama. Welcome to the tough love mom podcast. I know you're here because you're ready to get consistent and finally lose that weight. And you're not afraid of a little tough love, you know, what to do to lose weight. But following through on those things feels impossible. You wish you could just feel like your strong, confident self again, and want to be a good example for your little ones, but you get thrown off by mom guilt [00:02:00] and the unpredictability of motherhood.
It's fresh. Taking on your journey. Postpartum is hard, but it's not impossible. Okay. I'm Liz. And I've been where you are. I gained a lot of weight in my pregnancies, 90 pounds, and then 60 pounds. I needed to lose that weight to take control of my health. And honestly just wanted to feel like myself again, with the sustainable approach to wait.
Symbol consistency in working on my mindset. I lost it all in just over a year, both times. And I'm here to help you do the same. I believe that we have an ingrained ability to figure out what we need to do, make it happen and do it in a way that AHS the world. If you're ready to stop falling off the wagon, create solid routine and healthy habits, and finally feel your best inside and out all while enjoying Dino nuggets on your salad, you are in the right place.
We're about to transform your journey, right? Get pumped up. It is tough. Love time.
Hey Michelle, I'm so excited to have you on today. Thank [00:03:00] you for coming onto the podcast. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to. Yeah, so you are holistic health and fitness expert, and I'm excited for you to just give your expertise and everything to the moms and the listeners on today. But before we get into all the goods, can you share your story with.
And with health and what got you into this field? What got you passionate about it? Absolutely. Actually, before I tell you, I think that it's going to be a little interesting because obviously the story is told in hindsight. And I actually think that I started my fitness journey out of a lot of disordered thinking.
So, which, I mean, maybe it's not uncommon to a lot of women, um, but I'll let it unfold for itself. I'm sure you remember, in the nineties, in the late two or in the early two thousands, there was this iconic ad. Uh, Kate Moss did it. And the caption was nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. I don't know if you remember [00:04:00] this.
Even me saying it right now, like there's a real visceral reaction with it. And, um, I know a lot of my friends remember this ad and a lot of women that I work with and I was maybe 13 when not ad. You know, a real pivotal moment in a woman's or a little under calls, um, growth. So I think at that point I started really noticing my body and started noticing attention from males or females, like good or bad, depending on how I, you know, if I grew two inches, you know, my first year of high school I had.
I have like, actually hold an intervention, telling me that I was anorexic, but, but it was just like, I grew and just kind of got a little bit slimmer and I was like, Hmm, this is interesting. But then, you know, boys started to notice me and you start to unconsciously create like your work around what you look like, because now this is what people are giving you attention for.
[00:05:00] So, you know, 13, 14 years old, you go go through high school. You, you start seeing ads like this. I definitely were looking at all the magazines where they would like scrutinize celebrities for having cellulite or, you know, like, like that does a very strange time in comparison to today for like what the ideal body should look like.
So I would say that I didn't even realize that it was happening, but I was like already forming an opinion about my body. That, unless it was exactly this way. Then it wasn't good enough. And then I got into my twenties, I moved out of my house university, et cetera. And you know, I like the gym. I like to work out.
I like to run. I definitely was active. And I lived in a, in a healthy household growing up. My mom was very health conscious. And then I got into like really like lifting. And when I was 22, I opened my gym. And, um, I think in hindsight, I thought I was like, kind of masking something that was healthy. You know, like obviously we all think about exercise as being [00:06:00] healthy, but I went into it going like, oh, now I can work out every day.
Now I'm going to be the most fit. And the attention I'm going to get is going to be like, wow, you're like, your body is so perfect. Or I didn't even really know what I was expecting. Ultimately it was validation. And so, uh, you know, I went through my twenties, I trained CrossFit style training. It was like heavy lifting, moving fast Olympic style lifting, but I still had sort of this disordered eating, uh, mindset where it was like, you cut out all the carbs, you cut out this, you cut out that you take fat burners.
You, you know, you do you take some pretty extreme measures or at least I did. And I know a lot of my peers have in those early stages because, Hey, you don't know what the effects are going to be and being. You know, like skinny is everything, right? Nothing, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. So I never would've said that I had a disordered way of thinking or eating.
I definitely was not anorexic by any means. I love food. I've always really loved food, but I did [00:07:00] think about it in more of like, oh, if I didn't work out today, I can't eat that. Or if I did work out, I deserved. Kind of black and white mindset. So I would say it wasn't until believe it or not. I got really sick.
I CA I mean, that sounds like, of course you're going to get sick, doing all those things. But about five years ago, I got really sick, um, to the point where I couldn't train anymore. Like I could not train, I had crazy food sensitivities. Um, I like could barely eat like boiled chicken and I was not, obviously not happy.
Um, and it wasn't until that moment of like really. Uh, not feeling myself and not feeling good. Did I realize what true health really looked like? Um, and that's when my whole idea of fitness changed. Um, it's when my studio actually did the best it had ever done in terms of revenue and sales, because I think I became.
More relatable and more realistic [00:08:00] in terms of what I was preaching. And then I found the holistic health side of things and I was like, oh, it's not just about diet and exercise. There's so much more to what real health is. And so five years later, I would say that I am like on this path of true vitality and couldn't be happier.
It's so interesting that you say. You got to that point when you realized that your health was so much more than just working out and food, because I think, and I I'm just recently toying with this because when I say your fitness journey or your health and fitness journey, or it like, isn't all encompassing.
When I say those things, I'm like, oh, this doesn't feel. Everything because it's so all encompassing health is so much more than working out and eating well. Like it is so much more than that. So I've started using the term healthy lifestyle or the lifestyle that [00:09:00] you're capable of living because it is literally it's your mind, it's your emotions.
It's your inner strength. It's your flexibility. So all encompassing and it's not just your body, it's not just what you're putting in your body. It's everything. I mean, it's how you're thinking. It's how you're reacting. It's how you're sleeping. It's how you're hydrating. I mean, it's so all encompassing.
And so I hate that you had to get to the point where you weren't feeling great and to have to realize that, but I think. A lot of us, especially that grew up in that time when everything was super skewed that we were taking in, it's such a transformative age and it's not our fault, but media was like that in portraying those things.
It was just the decade that we were in those transformative years. Like we didn't have control over that. But we do have control now and how we respond to it. So I do love that you took control of that and you didn't just say, oh, well, I'm going back to what I'm comfortable with and how I'm comfortable thinking you, you decided to pivot.
So you said now that you got into holistic health, can you give us a picture of [00:10:00] what that actually means? Because I know when I first learned the term holistic health or heard about holistic health practitioners, I was like, that sounds a little overwhelming. Like, what does that mean? Or crunchy even some on some moms might call it, but what does that mean?
Granola is yummy. I mean, come on. I know. Right? Um, so for me, holistic health has meant before I became a practitioner, it has meant an all natural way of healing ailments. Okay. It's very different from like a doctor running a test, looking at your symptoms and then prescribing some medication. That's a very like medical way of looking at things.
Holistic health is more like co like a co-relation between your symptoms. We definitely like I can run a specific tests and like, we can run diagnostics, but it's about like, looking at those results. Objective. Talking to you about how you're actually feeling, looking at your lifestyle. You know, there are lots of lifestyle [00:11:00] factors that will, you know, it's like a triangle.
They all go together. And then from there, because I am not a medical doctor, I absolutely cannot prescribe medication or like pharmaceuticals, but I am certified to start using things like herbs. Or a different vitamins and minerals to start either giving some like immediate relief care. You know, if somebody has like digestive issues, then we can immediately resolve some of that.
Not to say, not to say that that's what's healing it, but then eventually get down the road of healing it. So it's just like all through natural modalities. Okay. Yeah, because everything is so connected. And I think the general population is starting to actually grasp that instead of just going, oh, here's my problem.
Here's a quick solution. And not that you're wrong for thinking that if that's what, oh, I go to the doctor when I have pain and they give me medicine and I feel bad. But I mean, I have lower back issues and I was going, okay, I can take ibuprofen the rest of my life to control the swelling, or I can look at my nutrition and start [00:12:00] taking out foods that are inflammatory and controlling the inflammation that way, getting more mobility in my lower back.
So the blood flow is going there and the bisque isn't having more issues. There's so many ways I can deal with it before it gets too serious. Instead of just masking it with meds, um, which sometimes are necessary. Absolutely. I'm not saying they're not, medicine is absolutely has its place and is valuable, but yeah, I think the population is starting to grasp that connection between everything like digestion and mood and our gut and our pain and everything.
It's amazing. We probably nerd out on that forever. Oh my goodness. Yeah. And like, Connection to all of those things. I definitely agree with you. There is a place for relief care. Like your symptoms should be addressed, but like, I think the difference between holistic health practitioners and medical doctors is that holistic health tries to really get down to the root cause and, and start treating their while, giving the relief care.
Whereas I feel like, I don't know if you've had an [00:13:00] experience with the doctor, but I have left my doctor's office in the last five years when I said I like, there was a moment where I got really sick, leaving. Almost every single time because she just doesn't listen to me, you know, and I know a hundred percent that I am not alone where women feel dismissed by their doctors or like, you know, they just use excuses, you know, to be like, oh, well you're a new mom.
Of course. You're. Yeah, except should I be this tired? You know what I mean? And so I think that's where the difference lies between medical and, um, holistic health. Yeah. It really gets to the root issue and addresses that. So things can start changing on a bigger perspective. Yeah. So, I guess any mom listening, if you're really struggling with something that you feel like just isn't getting resolved or you're not feeling heard.
I think it's good too, to have that pairing of the medical side and having that support and that help paired with holistic practitioners and anyone else in your life that can speak into that. So, um, I know you're really passionate about, we hit on so many things in your intro there about your just [00:14:00] history and, you know, growing up in the nineties and early two thousands and what.
You know, shaped your mind as around health and fitness and what you do now. So I know you're really passionate about busting myths around getting healthy, though. Can you briefly go over a couple of the biggest myths that you constantly hear or see women struggling with and how to like bust through those are way to change your thinking about those specific myths?
Yeah, absolutely. So I definitely want to first sort of address. I think I initially, when we were going to contact you, initially, I called them mistake. And I actually don't believe that there are any mistakes in life. I like that you've used the word myth because I don't ever want to alienate somebody for thinking a certain way.
Like, I mean, ultimately for 15 years in my, in my health journey, I had one way of thinking didn't know any different. It seemed to work, you know, whatever and realizing through my experience that it's not maybe the healthiest way to go about it. So, uh, I definitely want to, I definitely want to use the term myth.
So this [00:15:00] one really gets. And this one in particular, I get calls all the time from past clients, you know, from new clients. I really want to do intermittent fasting and I'm like, cool. You know, like I, I'm always open to hearing what somebody has to say, but what's interesting about intermittent fasting. So if for your listeners who don't know exactly what that is, you have a.
Eight hour eating window and a 16 hour fasting window. And so you may not eat breakfast or you finish eating at 4:00 PM, like whatever sort of works for your life, which can be helpful. However, the myth that sort of exists there for me, which drives me crazy is that on one hand, there are millions of people saying, and articles written that don't skip meals because it slows your mentality.
But then they tell you that intermittent fasting is good. And so I understand why people get confused by this because it's literally the exact same message told on opposite ends of the spectrum. So like, what is [00:16:00] good for you? So when a client comes to me and asks me a little, like, should I do intermittent fasting my question to them every single time is, tell me why you want to try this.
Like, tell me like the real deep down reason why you want to. And more often than not the very first reaction or the first response is like, oh, because I've heard it's healthy, it's healthy for your digestive system, you know, whatever. And then like if I start digging a little deeper, it always, always, always comes back to.
Yeah, probably for most of the things that I'm going to list here in terms of the myths. And so when I talk to women specifically about intermittent fasting and I try to give them all the facts. So do I think it slows down your metabolism? No. Do I think long-term, if you are eating too few calories long-term will that slow your metallic?
Absolutely. So if you're talking to me about intermittent fasting and in your eight hour window, you're only eating 600 calories. [00:17:00] Like your, your eating window. And you do that over a period of time. Yes. Perhaps that's going to be an issue big time. So like, as we talked about everything being so interconnected, you can start getting into cortisol issues and then hormone issues.
And if that goes on for long enough, it's digestive issues and you start to live in a fight or flight mode. Which can wreak havoc on your entire system. So I always always ask the client, why, like, why do you want to incorporate this? And if the answer is always wait, Then I want to ask them, why can't you eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and still get weight loss.
And usually the answer is because it's shorter. It's like the quicker thing to do, but I try to educate them on their mindset around what's healthy versus what's the quick and easy fix for the ultimate goal. Right. So intermittent fasting or like don't skip meals kind of [00:18:00] situation. That parallel, I like to say is probably one of my favorite myths to bust because intermittent fasting is a very popular idea right now.
Yeah. And, and for the moms listening, I mean, especially in the early years, you're up in the middle of the night. Day-to-day energy levels are going to change based on the circumstances of your kids. Like they really do run your life. And so there's definitely a time and place and something I advocate a lot for.
And maybe you can validate this is phasing, our diet, approaching it in different ways, in different seasons based on just what you need. You know, it's one of those things where what's your, like you said, what's your reason behind it. And how would it look for you? Like specifically instead of just saying, oh, they're the expert on intermittent fasting.
They say an eight hour eating window. So I'm going to just switch to that. Like what, you know, give me whiplash. Like why would you do that to yourself? Yeah, for sure. And like, if you think about, like you had mentioned, if you're a new mom and you're not sleeping, very good. And you're probably not [00:19:00] getting the full nutrition that you need anyway.
A, if you're breastfeeding, a lot of that nutrition is leaving your body to nourish your child. But if you're not getting a sustainable amount of food in your eating window, you're not going to heal very well. You're probably not going to deal with the stress of the new situation very well at all. And like, I feel like ultimately it's not going to be a long-term sustainable thing for you to do.
Um, I do agree with, you know, once in a while during the 12, 14, even 16, like I'm not opposed to the idea, but again, it's like more about your work. Yeah. You know, if it's to help with digestion, if it's to help you sleep better, you know, if you stop eating at five o'clock or six o'clock at night, you know, you definitely, there are benefits to it.
But when it's strictly for somebody to lose weight fast, I feel like that's not the mindset to go cook. Yeah. And especially if you're like, okay, I'm going to do this forever because of really you shouldn't be doing one style of eating forever. Right. Is that the right way to [00:20:00] approach it is to go, okay, I'm going to do this first season, then stop and then be a little more flexible.
Is that a better way? I know we're kind of like pivoting here a little bit, but is that help? Is that like a helpful way to approach nutrition? So you're not. Cause I mean, personally for a few years, I one way, and it got unhealthy because. Like you said only thinking about food all the time. It was when I was doing a lot of triathlon training thing, I have a three hour bike and a 2000 meter swim.
So I can have this breakfast today. It was just that's all I thought about was what I was eating. So is it good to give yourself that variety in moms once you're at the place where you can actually start thinking more intentionally about nutrition? Because even for me, it took about six, seven months postpartum to get to that point where I was like, Okay.
I can put my energy into what we're eating now daily, but is it good to change up how you're approaching nutrition every few months or throughout the year? I would say that it's, it's like mostly you can, I would say it's mostly important to listen to your. Yeah. So like, I definitely don't think that for [00:21:00] instance, if you're going to go away to summer, you're going to be traveling.
Like, do you really want to go into that feeling super restricted? I mean, I would hope the answer would be no, because you would want to enjoy, you know, enjoy your vacations, enjoy your family without even thinking about it. For instance, I had to go through, um, like through my health journey, I had a pretty strict protocol on.
Because I had a lot of digestive issues that I had to really sort out and had to really hone in on that. So I would say that listening to your body in the season it's in is probably more important than being like, okay, for the next three months, I'm going to do this. And then after that, I'm going to do this.
I feel like it, it needs to be something that's a little bit more natural, a little bit more intuitive and something that you can do for a long period of time without the bounce back effects. Yeah. Without being like, oh my gosh, I'm burnt out from doing this and I'm going to go eat everything. Yeah, exactly.
Exactly. So I feel like, yeah, you can absolutely switch up what you're doing, but I don't think that under any circumstance, it should be like, you know, so [00:22:00] restrictive for three months that now. Yeah, I have to eat everything and the kitchen sink. Cool. That's kind of what I was doing it based on, I think this might be a good thing for my body.
It feels right. I feel prompted to do it and it feels, it feels like it would fit my lifestyle right now, judging it from multiple perspectives instead of just, I want to lose weight. I want to get slimmer. Like I want to look more toned and muscular instead of using those things. So. Cool. I want you to get to your next myth before we don't want to run out of time.
You've got such a wealth of information. So next myth that women often struggle with. What does that mean? So, oh, this one I'll cut my list. I do have quite a big, long list, but I'll cut it down to two more like super important ones. One is putting out food. So again, I probably work with women thirties to like maybe sixties.
Not that I'm opposed to anything outside of that, but that generally seems to be the niche that I work with. And, um, those are the people that were all around in the late nineties, early two thousands. With that really skewed way of thinking about dieting and cutting out carbs, all. [00:23:00] It's a wild concept to me, knowing what carbs do for our bodies.
So I try again, it's just run education and like trying to change the mindset. Obviously, I understand what cutting out carbs, what somebody is trying to do. Yeah. So I don't necessarily need to dig into the why too much about that one, but what I do try to educate them on is that broccoli is technically a card.
Are you going to just not eat broccoli? I'm just going to ask you that, give me some carbs that are like, people would go that's a car, hold the phone. So what are some cards that people are going to be like, wait a second. Those are cards. What are they? Every fruit and vegetable. Exactly. And it's okay if you're listening and going, whoa, wait, I didn't know that.
And I've tried to do that, but now I'm like questioning everything I knew that's because everything we know is based on our experiences and what we learned from an uneducated point, we, all you can do from this point on is educate your. And learn and move forward from there. Like there's no guilt about that.
If [00:24:00] that's how you approach things or what you understood before now, you know, what can a mom or a woman do if she is thought that way and then led by that myth that I should cut out carbs if I want to lose weight. Um, how can she shift that thought process? So I always coach my clients when it comes to.
So like when we start talking about dieting or nutrition and like I understand, and I'm not shaming any woman for wanting to lose weight. There is a big body positive movement out there. And a lot of women who like, even in my, like in my world, Are like afraid to tell me that they want to lose weight.
And I'm like, there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel better improved from your perspective. So no shame at all in wanting to lose weight, but like, let's just do it in a healthy, sustainable way. So. Amen. Yeah. Right. So I talk about whole food eating. What is the least process thing that you can put on your plate?
And ultimately, if you want to talk about an apple. Technically a carbohydrate. You know, I had a lady the [00:25:00] other day say to me, she's cutting out apples because it put her over her carbohydrate for the day. And I was like, hold the phone. No, no, no, let's dial this back a second. There's so much more benefit to having an apple and just like the idea of carbs.
So let's think about that for a second. And I don't want to demonize food because I'm not a fan of saying this is good and this is bad, but let's just talk about whole foods for a second and apple versus. Wheat pasta, and I'm not demonizing wheat Mazda. I can't particularly eat it because I have a gluten intolerance, but you know, I do understand the idea of enjoying a beautiful plate of pasta.
Let's talk about the micronutrients and these things, which are your vitamins and your minerals. And for that plate of pasta, you could probably eat 16 apples and feel more. Then you would from that plate of pasta. So, um, I try to just give a little bit more perspective around, you know, what foods to choose, and there are always alternatives.
And I'm not saying again, if you want to eat a plate of pasta, [00:26:00] then by all means, eat the plate upon. But there are alternatives that are delicious and will still help you try to reach those goals without feeling so restricted. So I love because I can't eat wheat. I love red lentil, pasta. It's such a good fiber.
Give her the fiber. What's the word source of fiber. Here we go. So. Carbohydrates. And I'm not concerned about that. I just know that I'm choosing more of a whole food source, which will serve me so much better, uh, working towards my goals. I think it's a great way to grocery shop to just, if you're picking between two items are saying, okay, I want something.
Maybe I could get those like all fruit popsicles instead of a tub of very processed ice cream with all the candies and chocolates in it. I won't name any brands, but know I'm talking about, or maybe you make some with your kids, like make some popsicles with your kids. Oh my goodness. They would love that.
Right. So one of my favorite things growing up when my mom would do. I loved having those little [00:27:00] homemade Popsicle trays and like, you know, waiting for yeah, absolutely. I'm ownership over it. I mean, you can't beat that. So it's almost like thinking when you're grocery shopping, when you're cooking, when you're at the pantry, because you're hungry or because you're stressed and you're going, I just want to eat something right now, thinking about how processed or unprocessed this.
And just making a choice, just taking a second to think about that instead of letting your feelings or your emotions and what you've done in the past, and what's easiest for you lead the way, let your logic lead the way instead. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you touched on like, you hit the nail on the head with taking a second and like, thinking about what you're about to do and your why.
Like I had a stressful day, I'm going to eat that chocolate bar or I had a stressful day. I need to just breathe for a second and make the choice. You know, and maybe that chocolate bar is what's right for you in that moment. Right. But like, is it right for you? Long-term maybe not. Yeah. It was right for you every single, stressful day right on it.
Right. Like if you have goals to work toward, then yeah. You absolutely have to like go, okay, I'm going [00:28:00] to make a conscious choice. I'm not just going to be unconsciously eating whatever I want. Yeah. Yeah. What's another myth that women often struggle with around weight loss. So certain supplements, fitness influencers recommending, you know, I'll even go so far as like fitness accessories.
So like a waist trainer or like a fat burners or a greens supplement, or gosh, you could go on and on about all the things that apparently women need in order to accelerate their weight loss, ultimately these things, well, they a. If somebody were to say to me, oh, but I took them and they totally worked for me.
I would probably be like, well, what else were you doing while taking this supplement? You know, were you consistent with your food? Were you eating more vegetables? Were you drinking more water? Re sleeping, really good, eating more protein people start taking these supplements. They think that they're working because they're on a, like a whole regime that they're like, oh yeah, but it has to be this because all my really good choices.
You know, that's not what's doing it. So I would hope [00:29:00] that specifically this moment, um, that your listeners will be like, oh, you know, I'm just debating whether or not I should buy it for my favorite fitness influencer, et cetera. I would say 95% of the products that fitness influencers are trying to sell are gimmicky, or they don't, there's literally no validity to it.
Yeah, absolutely. And do you think it helps to approach the thought process around it? That way of why is it? I think I need this. How do you let, how do you help help women kind of break that thought process? That line of thought from continuing to take over like, oh, I need this to lose weight or it's working for that person.
So it'll work for me. How do you help them? Just not think that way anymore. So I think that this one's probably a little easier. Yeah. I mean, there's money tied to them, right? Like they have to actually go and purchase it. A lot of these things are not inexpensive. So one, I can say like, don't waste your.
You know what, like we will get you to your goals will help reach your goals [00:30:00] without these things. If somebody doesn't really care, like if that doesn't hit home for them, then I personally will start to discuss the actual things that are happening inside the body. When you start taking things like ephedrine or niacin, or, you know, like extreme caffeine amounts throughout your day.
And then I start talking to him about. Your adrenal glands. And this is what happens in this system of your body. When you start taking this and then add on the stress of not sleeping or the stress of high intensity training on and on, and like start to talk to them about the consequences of long-term effects of this kind of thing.
Usually by that point, they're like, oh, okay. I don't want to do that. Yeah. That education piece is so instrumental. Yeah. Staying motivated to make change, because once you understand how it's affecting your body, and I'm not talking to side effects of what it reads on the label, but legitimately how your body responds to it.
And then what that can lead to over time, I think is monumental and wanting to change. And that goes for too, like eating a lot of processed food [00:31:00] versus eating more whole foods. I mean, when you start to understand what's happening inside your body, You're like, Hmm. I haven't really want that to happen. So I'm just going to choose what's better for me.
Long-term and so, and you know, like the results might be slower that way they will be more sustainable. They will absolutely be more sustainable, which ultimately like if you were to really talk to somebody and dig into what their goal. I mean, everybody can have out, Hey, I have a wedding to go to in four weeks or I have a vacation coming up.
Like we can all get into the short-term goals, but long-term is what people are really after. Like long-term sustainable, healthy living is what most people are after. I heard someone say one time, what do you want the last decade of your life to feel like, how do you want to feel during the last decade of your life?
Do you want to be in a bed struggling? Maybe a supportive machines and medicines, or do you want to be living your life and feeling good and being vibrant, running around with your great grandkids? Like my grandma's are. I mean, [00:32:00] that's what I want. And my choices today dictate that decades down the road.
Absolutely. It does. Like, so I don't know about you, but I have some elderly family now. And when I say elderly, like I hope to God that when I'm in my late sixties, I don't, I'm not called elderly because that's not actually, that's not actually very old. I don't want to really say it like that, but I definitely see some of my older aunts and uncles who didn't take care of themselves.
And they're in their thirties or twenties, twenties, thirties, forties, even their fifties, and are paying the price in their late sixties, which is still so young. Yeah. You know, and, uh, just like, you know, I want to be able to run around with my great grandkids one day. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. What do you say to woman who you work with that are struggling with the support of family or maybe the sabotage of family?
Because a lot of the times it's generational. A lot of the times the unhealthy habits are in you because it's, it is truly nature and nurture. I mean, it is both pieces of that have been working [00:33:00] against. All of your life, but now, you know, a lot of the listeners here they're in that place where they are changing it and they are trying to, and putting in the effort and some women have a bigger uphill battle than others because of family.
And God love them. Like we love our families, but it can make that journey. And I'm sure. Insanely grateful because my family, my whole extended family, my in-laws, we all value health. And so they understand why I do what I do and the choices we make for our kids and for ourselves. And they make choices that are intentional too.
And it is so I am so grateful for that and I don't take it for granted, but I know so many, well, I mean, probably more than 50% of women nowadays. Have a bigger uphill battle because not everyone in their family, whether it's husbands or parents or in-laws, or whatever are supportive and can make it way more difficult with comments, with just making art or then it should be.
So how do you help women with that piece of things? So I will say that that happens [00:34:00] so often I have actually pulled a lot of my followers and, uh, women that I work with and ask them like, do they have a support. Um, family or, or just, just, um, peer even peer group. Right. You know, like if all your girlfriends want to go out and drink wine every Friday and Saturday night, it's hard to be like, oh, I'm just not going to come.
Or from my own experience, you know, like I generally, I would say like 95% of the time choose the healthy option if I'm out, you know, like I try my best, obviously just like anybody. And I still get people who like, try. Why don't you just have this piece of cake? Well, we ordered it. So what, just grab a spoon and I'll be like, I'm okay.
And if I don't get into the nitty gritty of, I have a gluten sensitivity, I don't want to be sick later. Like if I say that they'll kind of let up, but if I were to just be like, I'm choosing to not have it, I kind of get, I get like, uh, like poked fun at, so I do definitely understand that. Yeah. What would I say to somebody who's struggling with that?
I would say. A communication [00:35:00] is key. So let's say, you know, you're a woman in your mid forties, you know, you might be struggling. Maybe peri-menopause. Your kids are like in their teenage years and your husband, you know, he's slim all the time. It doesn't matter what he eats. So like, he's like good for ordering pizza three nights a week.
Like, let's just go there. That's the scenario. Yes. I hear that a lot. Yeah. Whatever. It's so frustrating. Yeah. I mean, that has a lot to do with hormones. So, I mean, we just going to have to accept that, but what I would say probably is communication is key. So let's sit your family down and be like, this is what is really important to.
You guys can eat whatever you want. I'm not saying you have to come down this journey with me, but I am going to ask you to be supportive and not have it in my face or poke fun at me. Or, you know, like, I mean, I don't know if they're going to actually poke fun at, but I mean, maybe. Talk to your husband, if he's the ma, if he's like the cook of the house, my husband cooks, like I, I barely [00:36:00] cook now, some cooks and, uh, he absolutely knows that, like, there are certain things that I just can't have.
There are certain things that I just don't want, and he he's happy, happy to kind of go down that route for me, because he knows that if I'm feeling good and he knows that I'm happy, then ultimately he'll be happy. Right. Your kids are going to be happier. They're going to see you more energetic. They're going to see you more patient, less.
There are so many more benefits to eating well and like eating for you than just weight loss. You know what I mean? Like there's so much more to it. I mean, obviously the whole call has been like around weight loss, that's everything. And so I think that communication is key being open about what your intentions are for your own health and just ask your partners to be.
Um, supportive of that. Yeah, totally. That's something that my husband's brought up on the podcast. A lot of other moms that have been on have brought up on the podcast because if we just make this change without communicating why we're doing it, [00:37:00] and this goes for anything, I mean, Same thing with starting this podcast.
I had to communicate with my husband, why this is important to me, why it's important for moms. And when we're not, we keep that to ourselves. We're not letting them in on the process and it will come off to them as selfish as just like something that everyone needs to feel a part of it and have a little bit of ownership to make it sustainable for everyone.
So that's so key. What would you say would help women shift their mindset from. I think a lot of the times, especially for moms, cause I've been in this place, health and fitness and this journey can feel very, very, very hard and insurmountable and far off. And I don't think I'll ever get back to that place I was, or that place I want to be.
Um, and oftentimes because of how we grew up our mindset around it can be well restrictive or punishment is the only way there. And like, I am not above a hard workout. I think there's a lot of benefit and challenging herself physically. I mean, You listeners will hear more about that later on [00:38:00] down the road.
Cause I've got some things in mind coming down the pipeline, but, uh, I think there's a lot of value in challenging yourself physically and doing hard things and being disciplined and nutrition, but it can be done in a way that's not restrictive. Punishment. And like, I have to do this or I need to do that, or I can't eat.
Like you were saying, you can't eat certain things because of your sensitivity. I mean, someone like me, I don't have sensitivities. I never say there's something I can't eat because there's genuinely nothing. I can't eat because I don't have any of those issues. I just choose not to eat certain things.
Sometimes I choose. Most of the time I choose not to, but with that mindset of like, I do have to do things that are kind of hard for me, but how can, how can they do that in a way that's not restrictive? Like, there's a fine line. I feel like between, okay, this is hard and I do need to be disciplined and it will get easier.
And I'm being restrictive. What's that fine line. How do they walk? The right way. That's a good, that's like, that's an awesome question. Um, so I definitely talk to my ladies about self love. [00:39:00] And so let me just expand on that a little bit. Yeah. So yeah, it is, it's very trendy right now. Right? Um, self care, self love, preaching, self love.
Number one. Understanding what self-love actually looks like is different and it's different for everybody, but there are some guidelines. So like I never say that self-love is bubble baths and pedicures. Sometimes that might, that might be what it looks like. Maybe you just need like a relaxing night to yourself.
And that sounds like the perfect thing for you. But selfless also looks like. You know, discipline with what you're eating discipline with just being healthy. Like if you want to live a healthy lifestyle, you can't expect to do it without discipline. Absolutely. Right. So self love still looks like discipline.
It still looks like hard work. It still looks like accomplishing something. It still looks like goal setting and doing things that you might not want to do for the [00:40:00] betterment of your future. So self-love is one. And that also sounds like a very easy thing to say. I don't believe that when people are like, oh yeah, I like totally loved myself, but then I'm like, Hmm.
But then you choose to do these things that are like so harmful for yourself or your negative self-talk, you know, and, and don't get me wrong. I am not perfect at this. I think that self love is absolutely a practice. But self-love is not rhyming off your accomplishments and being proud of yourself.
Self-love is not, oh, you know what? Like I'm such a good wife and I'm such a good mom and I'm I work all the time and I'm like a martyr for my world. That's not, self-love either. Self-love is knowing that you're worthy of your own love, no matter what. So like the day you choose to sit on the couch all day.
The day you choose to work out the day you choose to like, gosh, like the day you choose to spend with your kids the day you choose to give them to the babysitter, all of it, [00:41:00] it doesn't matter where you are. 10 pounds heavier, 10 pounds, lighter 30. It doesn't matter. True. Self-love is knowing that you're worthy of your own love and compassion, no matter what.
Yeah. I keep hearing you say the word choose, and I think that's important to recognize, because love, if we take it out of the context of our journey, if we take out of the complex of ourselves, when we're thinking about love, like with our husband in that relationship, when we're thinking about loving our children, loving our family members, loving our close friends, the mission that has been put on our.
Others as a Christian, loving the Lord and receiving his love. Like those things are choices daily, and those things are not easy. Marriage is not easy. Parenthood is not easy. Having a relationship with God is not easy because you're having to surrender a lot of things. And I think same thing, marriage, you got to surrender yourself.
You are not in control. You need to absolutely take into account other people's needs, parenthood. Same way. I love this. It's not easy. [00:42:00] And so I think tying that to yourself to self-love is not easy and fluffy and rainbows and butterflies. It can feel that way when you're doing it right. Shut it. Doesn't like those actions don't feel that way in the moment I was getting out when you were saying, and I was like, oh, this is it.
That's what we need to start talking about when it comes to self love. Absolutely. And it seems like easier. To love your husband or to love your children or whatever, because it's very outward, very natural. It's like you can show love in different ways. But when it's loving yourself, it's very inward. And I think that it starts with, if you're getting out of the shower and you're like walking by the mirror and you're naked, if all you do is go, oh, you know, or like, all you do is like, oh, I don't want to look in the mirror or like cover yourself up.
Or, I mean, we've all done this where we're like, oh, I hate my hair. I wish my hair was longer. I wish it was blonder. I wish it was curly. I wish whatever. I had a [00:43:00] moment, a couple of weeks ago where I didn't put any makeup. To run to the store. And I got in my car and I was looking at my rear view mirror and I like saw my own face in the mirror and literally had a thought, oh my goodness, Michelle, why didn't you put on any makeup?
You're so ugly without makeup. It was a real, like just a flash moment. And then, and then I was conscious to. And I was like, hold on a second. Why does not wear some mascara make you ugly? That is the craziest thing you've ever said to yourself. So no judgment, Michelle, let's take that back, look back in the mirror and be like, no, you know what?
Look at her natural. You look and look at how grateful that you don't feel self-conscious to walk into the grocery store. And feel like you shouldn't be there. So, like I said, it's a practice. I'm not good at it. A hundred percent of the time, there are definitely moments where I'm like, oh, I wish this was different.
Or that was different. Or, you know, having a stressful day or you, you know, you run a, a podcast of business. So do I, and I've had a bad day or somebody is no longer [00:44:00] working with me or whatever. It's very easy to like implode. But I think ultimately if you can realize you're sort of imploding, or you can realize your negative self-talk and shift it in that moment, that's where the practice comes in.
Yeah. And that's kind of how you walk that line of being disciplined and consistent all of that and being restrictive and not going there. You're not going to that extreme all the time. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not like getting up and doing a 5k run because I hate myself. Yeah. If I'm going to do that, I'm going to do it because I'm like grateful that my legs can carry me.
Yeah. It truly is just mindset. Yeah. And moms might come from that place initially of feeling that way of, I don't like this body I'm in I'm I feel fluffy. I feel soft. I feel weak. Like this is I'm. I've been there. Like I've been in that point a few weeks postpartum. I don't recognize how I feel or look or, I mean, move.
I it's just so foreign and humbling and it can [00:45:00] be really easy for those thoughts to continue to be pervasive. If you don't do anything about them. And a lot of the times that action of going for a walk of doing a workout of choosing a different food than you usually would choose. That's more nutritious instead of something that's less nutritious.
When you get those moments where you can do those small choices. That's. You can start taking control of those thoughts and they don't become as pervasive, such a good conversation. Thank you for coming on today. Um, where can everyone find you and follow you and where are you located? Just in case I know you're do more virtual working out stuff with your business.
Where can everyone find you? And where are you located? Just in case I know for moms, community connection is so needed because we lack it when we're just talking a little humans all day. So give us all the places we can find you on Instagram. You can find me at Michelle Scarlet. Michelle is spelled with one L and an underscore at the end.
So I'm Michelle Scarlet underscore. That's my Instagram handle. You can find me at [00:46:00] www.corestudios.ca/true. That's my website and there's a free download on my website. That is just a little, uh, uh, how do you want to say, like exercise notebook that you can start filling in, like all these things that we just talked about?
Like, what is your, why, who are your, who are your supportive people? Like, who are you going to get to watch your kid while you do a 20 minute workout? And it just is. About getting you into the mindset of living a healthy, sustainable lifestyle. I love that. Perfect. Cool. And a little note when it comes to like, who are the people around?
If you're listening and going. Uh, no one, uh, literally no one in my life. Uh, yes, you're listening to them right now. Go find Michelle on Instagram. You've got me and you're here every week. Like your tribe can be virtual for now until. You start making those changes and making connections in person. Um, so one final question.
I like to ask my guests and I'm sure you've heard this. Um, cause I know you're a listener, but [00:47:00] tough love is defined as love expressed in a straightforward manner because you care about someone's wellbeing. And I feel like that's what you live by, based on hearing everything you've shared today. But with that in mind with that does straightforwardness because you care about someone's emotional, physical, mental health.
What's one thing you want to leave these moms with them. I actually love this question. And I was, so I think the biggest thing is start questioning your thoughts, drown out all the noise of the day, because there's so much going on day to day so much, and it's very easy to get lost in that. And then to not be conscious of your actual thoughts and beliefs, drown out the noise and start questioning those thoughts, start questioning those beliefs.
Because once you start asking yourself, literally. Is it true? You're going to start going, oh gosh, no, that's not true. So me and the other game looking in the mirror like, oh gosh, you're so ugly without makeup, but is that true? [00:48:00] No, that's not true. Right. You know what I mean? If you, if you walk by the mirror and like, don't want to look in the mirror because you don't like the way your legs look or your butt looks or whatever, ask yourself, what did those things do for you?
How do those things serve you? Right. So I would definitely say that, that the thing to do is to start questioning your thoughts, start questioning your beliefs and things will start to change. Yeah. Thank you so much. This was so good. No problem. One of my favorite things Michelle said in that interview was, is it true?
Is it true that you're someone who just will never be consistent? Is it true that you just can't live a healthy lifestyle because none, no one in your family does, is it true that your body has horrible? None of it's true. I love that question. Next time. You think something that is negative, that is not helpful towards your body, or it's just holding you back and it's always held you back.
I want you to ask yourself, is it true? Like she said, if you want to live a healthy lifestyle, [00:49:00] you can't do so without hard work. And sometimes that hard work is physical. Sometimes it's what we put on our plate. And sometimes that hard work happens between our. So I want you to be more conscious of the thoughts you're thinking, because those direct every action that we take, every choice that we make, and you are in control of making these changes that are going to help you live a healthier life.
I know you're leaving equipped today. Might feel like you have a little bit more of a burden on your shoulders. A little bit more responsibility, because you are equipped with so much knowledge now. So go out, apply what you've heard. And get after it this week before you go. Thank you for spending this time with me on the tough love mom podcasts.
At this episode, encouraged you in any way. The number one way you can thank me is to leave her a review, letting me know how the show has impacted you. That. Send this episode to another mom friend, or take a screenshot posted on social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me on this journey to impact thousands of moms.
I'm so grateful [00:50:00] to be out of starting with your sister until next time. Get after it.
